…every denim skirt that exceeds the length of ‘mini’ or ‘short’ should be burnt in a giant bonfire, far away from all humanity (with the obvious exception of me who will be lighting said bonfire). They are drab, unflattering and generally disgusting and makes whoever wears it look frumpy.
I just saw this in Topshop and it made me very angry:
Here are some very important Denim rules that should be put on the same list as not wearing black and brown or navy and black together:
- Demin looks good in jean form …well providing you get a style to flatter short legs/big bum/no bum/long legs/giant knees/etc.
- Denim looks good in certain styles of jacket. Ones with a nice pattern on the inside workd really well if you can fold up the sleeves. Most just bring back horrible memories of my 90s childhood
- Denim jumpsuits shouldn’t even be thought about …in fact I’m committing a sin by even typing ‘jumpsuit’ …twice.
- Denim shirts and/or tops are hideous.
- Denim with paint splatters/studs/patches/giant holes/etc looks like crap and you belong back in the poor 60s and 70s hill-billy America if you wear them.
- Denim bags are evil.
- Denim hats are also evil
- Nobody should EVER wear to types of demin together (I did this accidentally one awfully early morning last summer when I grabbed my demin jacket and realised on the bus I was also wearing jeans. I was going out that night straight from work and refused to wear the jacket and so froze, but it was worth it!).
- Demin dresses hardly EVER work and you look like you should be working in a carnival if you wear one. Take not of this mess (also from Topshop) and run away from ANYTHING you see that resembles it:
- Denim dungarees are kinda awesome but nearly everybody in the world, bar tiny children and a young Demi Moore, looks hideous wearing them.
- Nobody should ever wear any denim skirt with stupid lace or ruffles pinned on to the bottom.
Also, as sidenote: ‘denim’ is strangely difficult to type!!!!!!