It’s been a while since I’ve thought about you.
There was a time when you filled my head and all I could see was your awkward shuffling and that look of inconvenience that constantly smeared your face.
And then I saw you at the MTV Movie Awards and it all came flooding back.
I was breathless as I watched you and Robbie collect award after award, marvelling at the fact that such an awful film could dominate so many catagories and concluding that everyone involved in the voting was a labotomised monkey.
And then as I watched you roll your eyes when they called your name as Best Actress, for a second I believed that you actually knew how truly terrible you were in Twilight and how you ruined any teeny chance it had to be good.
But then I realised that you were probably emo-ing the fact that fame was just being an inconvenient bore to you yet again.
I watched as you gave that rambling, lathargic speech that made quite a lot of people question whether or not you were high, and wondered how it was I ever forgot about you.
I used to be able to spend hours talking about you and how rude and unappealling you were as an actress and a person.
I lamented what we used to be.
And then I pissed myself laughing when you dropped your award.
PS: I liked your dress.