Hey, Girlfriend!!! OMG, like, can you actually believe Spencer and Heidi, and, like, the total drama with them in I’m A Celebrity!?
I mean, like, no way, right?
It’s so great that you’re, like, so totally amazing and, like, so much better than them!
You’re just, like, so real and it’s so totally awesome how you’re always, like, ‘Whatever’ about them and always telling everyone who’ll listen how unbelievably fake and media-whorish they are!
I mean you’re, like, so much more modest and dignified than them …that’s probably why, like, 2 totally real-life shows followed you around all the time.
And like, they’re, like, sooo stoopid, and you’re, like, really smart, because you’re, like, writing teen books to teach girls how to be all, like, empty-headed and selfish and blonde and how to act and dress like a sexually active 25 year old at age 12, so like, whatever Heidi and Spencer.
Oh and like, they don’t even have a clothing line and like, how could anyone forget yours. It was, like, so totally amazing, even if it was ridiculously expensive and was dropped because no one would buy it, but like, whatever!
Anyway, kiss-kiss, gotta run. Hair appointment.
PS: You were so the bigger person by going to their wedding because it was so because you’re like soooo nice and not because The Hills producers wrote it in the script.