You are beautiful no matter what they say …especially if you’re wearing the right clothes!

I’m going to take a dangerous step here and open myself up for ALL kinds of criticism by tackling the issue of weight and fashion here.

A comment was left on my American Apparel post last night by the author of a body image blog and specifically this post. The site itself is quite strange and is encouraging people to work at being skinny, but not through eating disorders, or something ridiculous like that.

Anyway, the post I linked there featured pictures of readers and the author complimented different skinny parts of them. Quite a lot of the time I felt she was just lying to have something to say, like when she said a girl with a flabby belly had a ‘lovely little waist’.

I didn’t see a waist.

As well as this, I also felt that the girls in the pictures showing off their ribs and rolls weren’t even remotely attractive.

Yes I know that saying that serves me to the ‘positive body image’ lions, but I think it needs to be said.

I’m not saying that fat girls are ugly and I’m not saying that really skinny girls are ugly. What I’m saying is that a skinny girl wearing figure-hugging clothes does not look attractive because she is unhealthy looking. What I’m saying is that a fat (and omg yes, I’m using the word ‘fat’) girl bet into a low cut, hip-skimming, tight tee does not look attractive because giant stomachs and rolls are not prettty.

I’m so sick of people trying to say “as long as you’re wearing what you want and feel confident and beautiful, then it’s ok” because it’s a lie. It’s not ok.

First of all from a health perspective it’s not ok. Having too little or too much weight is unhealthy and you’re putting yourself in danger.

Secondly from a style point of view (which is the main point of this article), if you wear something that doesn’t suit your size, I don’t care how beautiful you feel, you don’t look it.

I have a short upper body and long legs, therefore high-waisted jeans make me look deformed, so I don’t wear them.

I have skinny shapeless arms, and wearing tank tops make my arms look unhealthy, so I don’t wear them without something covering my shoulders.

My stomach has said hello to a bit of extra poundage in recent months, so I don’t wear tight or short tops!

It’s not being shallow, it’s not vanity; it’s common sense. If I wear something unflattering, I know people aren’t going to look at me and go Wow she’s so confident! They’re going to look at me and say She doesn’t look great.

I’m not one of those people who depend on others to give me good self-esteem. I’m very practical when it comes to my body, and I know what works and what doesn’t.

And I enjoy putting on an outfit that suits me and makes me look good!

And I’m just sick of people trying to push fat people in my face while telling me that she’s a real woman.

Well unless she’s a REALLY high-tech robot, yeah I knew she was a real woman, just like me. But it’s not ok for all women to look like that because she looks terrible and can barely breathe.

Now I know that’s harsh, and I don’t mean to make it sound like all fat and really skinny people need to be locked up.

We come in all shapes and sizes and if a person is happy with their weight, big or small, then fair play (again unless it’s affecting your health!)! BUT, while you might be happy with your weight, the rest of the world doesn’t want it rubbed in their face so please dress to suit your size!

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14 Comments

Filed under Fashion, General Observations, Photography

14 responses to “You are beautiful no matter what they say …especially if you’re wearing the right clothes!

  1. {BIG FONT} AMEN!!!{/BIG FONT}

    Freaking about time someone said something like this!

    Looking good is about being healthy, looking healthy, dressing for your shape & size and being confident.

    I’m not skinny, I have thighs & a butt, so I can’t wear stove pipe jeans (as much as I’d like too)…

    Thank you SO much for posting this. It definitely needed to be said!

  2. Fair enough, you write a fashion blog so this may be flogging a dead horse, but seriously, if you don’t like how other people look, then don’t look at them. Style is entirely subjective and ever in flux, so the very idea of what ’suits’ what is in fact totally undefined, and people do actually have their own opinions, all of which are equally valid.

    The honest truth is that for the most part, the rest of the world doesn’t give a damn how you look or how you dress. If your argument is to be believed, you would rather have people dress in a way that pleases you (or as you imply, the ‘rest of the world’ – a shade presumptious I feel) rather than in a way that makes them happy – you state that outright in point 10 in fact. If that is actually exactly what you mean I’d suggest your priorities may be totally backwards.

    What do I know of course? I dress like a bunch of 70s and 80s rock bands got into scrap and I stole their clothes. Should I give a damn if anyone else likes it? Feck that.

    My point is simply that the goalposts will keep moving; certain things are designed to be too tight! skinny jeans, corsets, tight fit tees, what have you; and yeah, you will see some total swahs about 3 stones overweight in an bellytop and I totally get the whole ‘ugh’ feeling. But at the end of the day, it makes them happy, and apart from offending my tastes a little, it doesn’t hurt me, and obviously a certain subculture goes for that look.. why, I cannot fathom..

    Apart from that, the blog is well written and I’ve peeked at it before, even though style articles tend to make me want to slash my wrists; I just think that there is too much creedence give to ‘the royal we’ and the knock on effect in body dismorphic disorder…

    That said, I feel mixed about it, given that I wonder if people are so easily influenced are they themselves to blame? Very un-PC of me, and but BDD is apparently a control illness, so I wonder how much fashion has to play in it and if it does play a role, why..

  3. Dude, settle down. I wasn’t telling everyone to have a certain STYLE …the point was to wear the right clothes to suit your shape ie: if you have a giant tummy, don’t wear a tiny tight t-shirt. I wasn’t suggesting we should all be clones.
    There’s a big difference between style and dressing for your shape.
    Peace out!

  4. Nicole Addison

    The world does care what you wear! Haha that’s why we dressthe way we all do… If no one would see us we’d never dress in nice clothes because it doesn’t matter! If a larger girl ewears a belly showing shirt I’m sorry but she’s doing it for attention. And I’d rather not see it. Ahh I mean yes eceryones beautiful of course but I agree ejth you my dear!

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  6. Suz

    It’s definitely a tough topic and I like how you tackled it head on (was there any doubt?!). That girl’s website is shocking. The scary part is – she’s one of the healthier ones. I don’t believe in “thinspiration” and I think websites promoting it are promoting a sickness. Maybe not anorexia or bulimia, but when all you can think about are ways of being thinner – there’s something seriously wrong.

    People should watch shows like “What Not To Wear” – they take girls of all shapes and sizes and show them the types of clothes that will make their assets look awesome while downplaying the not so attractive parts of their body. Its not done in a patronising way – its fun and constructive!

  7. that blog is so wrong!! it just seems a bit weird, people sending in photos of themselves to be commented on, why do they need to be told they have skinny arms/legs etc? I agree with what you’re saying, people should dress to their body shape and that goes for thinner people as well as larger sizes – i hate seeing blatently anorexic girls embracing their skinny frames and wearing really revealing clothes.
    xx

  8. tiggy

    Hmm i’ve mixed feelings about what you’re saying and the way you’re saying it. Certainly judging from the comments people agree that media treatment of the whole fat issue is too PC.

    Of course size is a health issue, and in an ideal world we’d all take care of our bodies and treat them as temples. But the reality is that very underweight and very overweight people are in a minority, and the majority of us fall somewhere in between. Maybe some of us are not as healthy as we’d like, maybe a little too malnourished or maybe a little too well-fed. But maybe some of us have figures that naturally tend toward being rounded or concave, despite our leading healthy lives and eating balanced diets. Our shape is primarily dictated by the proportions of our skeletons and the speed of our metabolisms. Having the ‘wrong’ body shape is something that some people just have to live with.

    It may seem like I’m stating the obvious, but I felt the need to say it this because you slap-dashedly acknowledge that we come in all shapes and sizes whilst judging people for being the wrong shapes and sizes. I don’t mean your revulsion at people at the extreme ends of the overweight/underweight scale, that is a revulsion toward the parading of ill-health and therefore kind of understandable. I mean the way you said in the American Apparel post that some of those women shouldn’t be wearing those clothes, meaning that those women in the ad campaign did not have the right body to wear those clothes. Correct me if i’m wrong, but none of them are fat, right? If you were slagging them for being fat and unhealthy, fine that’s one thing, but they just look normal to me. They don’t look like other fashion models, but the point is that other fashion models all look the same. Except some of them are called curvy because they have breast implants 🙂

    From your description your own natural body shape falls within the remit of what is considered acceptable for fashion – clothes hang so well on short torsos with long limbs. You think that wearing clothes to suit you means wearing clothes that accentuate certain physical characteristics and conceal others, in an attempt to better conform to the prevelantly acceptable body shape. But, as outlined above, some people just will never have the ideal sillhouette no matter how hard they try so they accept themselves and adapt their sense of fashion to express their taste accordingly. As someone who is obviously keenly interested in fashion, do you not sometimes wish you had the ability to look beyond the roll of belly pudge or chunky thighs and instead of immediately dismissing them as dressed in clothes that don’t suit them, ponder the colours, textures, contrasts of whatever ensemble this person has chosen to express themselves?

  9. tiggy

    like a person with a long torso and short legs can stick to bootcuts, flares, wide legged trousers and feel too embarrassed to wear skinny jeans. but if this person is healthy then why shouldn’t she say screw it, i love this pair of skinny jeans and i’m going to wear them, i accept my short legs and you know what, maybe other people should look more closely at themselves if my skeleton offends them.

  10. I LIKE a little “meat on the bones”, so to speak! This awesome & hilarious music video is a tribute to loving larger ladies, and it pretty much sums up EXACTLY how I feel!

  11. DAVE GRIMES READS YOUR BLOG! BAHAHAHA!

    Anyway…

    Bottom line is, everyone looks better when they dress to suit their shape. It’s nothing to do with fashion or trends. It’s a basic stylistic rule – knowing what your body looks like and dressing accordingly.

    What cripples me is when I see young teenage girls wearing clothes they really shouldn’t. When you’re that age, you really don’t know any better. You just want to wear what you see your friends wearing. Parents should be on hand to not necessarily say “Oh god, you look like shit! Wear this instead…” but to guide them. Teen girls are bitchy enough without adding fuel to the fire… Y’know?

  12. I sort of agree with you–except I don’t think we should constantly buy into the need to look good. I wear clothes sometimes that don’t flatter my short stature and close-fitting garments when I’m not as slender as some, but I do love the clothes. Our society says we need to look attractive, but why? And to whom? It’s all very subjective, so why can’t we wear exactly what we want and look “ugly” sometimes? People wearing clothes that flatter their figure is smart, but also so restricting–ultimately I don’t think I want to buy into a culture that says I need to consistently dress to flatter my figure and appear as attractive as possible. Mostly I want to give most of society’s thoughts on how to live my life the middle finger…anytime a collective “they” expects something of me I get angry…
    But I do understand your viewpoint.

  13. Bex

    Did you see that one of the girls in that thinspo blog had scratch/cut marks all over her legs? Now that’s unhealthy. Some of the girls looked downright anorexic.

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