I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted

Something occured to me last night.

As I admired the beautiful vintage-styled pocket watch necklace bestowed on me by The Boy, I decided I absolutely had to post about this when I got online  again. I knew my blogger friends would be delighted to hear that I was given such a thoughtful gift, after they knew how much I’d admired it.

And then I realised that I probably wouldn’t be telling any of my Actual Life people about it…

One thing I’d noticed about the blogosphere is that people love Love. We all love reading about each others’ lovely boyfriends and girlfriends and the sweet and thoughtful things they do. We all love sharing our own Other Half stories too.

It’s not sappy, it’s not attention-seeking, it’s not showing off. It’s just a bunch of bloggers letting other bloggers know that they’re in happy loving relationships!

And even people who are living the life of the young, free and single join in with the Ooooo-ing and Awh-ing: there’s no bitterness, no grudges, no bad feeling (well, I don’t think there is, lol!).

But there’s always a reluctance to talk about these bits and pieces with people you’re friends with and spend time with and have known for years. I can feel myself cringe and trip over my words as I utter the phrase “My Boyfriend” to a workmate who doesn’t know who ‘Greg’ is, or an old college friend who’s wondering who I’m going to Australia with. When The Boy has surprised me or done something really sweet or said something absolutely perfect, I find myself keeping it out of my Life Update when talking to my friends. You can nearly hear the sigh and see the bored look as you think of saying ‘Oh Greg gave me this/surprised me/etc…”

And why is it?

Well if it’s a single friend, you feel like they’re going to make them feel bad or bore them or irritate them or worse: have them think you’re one of those Bridget Jones-type Smug (not yet) Married Couples. I don’t think I said the word ‘Boyfriend’ for my first year with The Boy, referring to him as ‘the guy I’m seeing’ or something equally ‘whatevs’, while on the inside I was screaming ‘I loooooove him’. (sorry if this embarrasses you, Goggins! :P). I had this terrible fear of becoming that girl who starts every sentence with My Boyfriend and divulges intimate information you really never wanted to know…

And then if it’s another girl in a couple, you feel that they’ll feel bitter because maybe their boy isn’t as thoughtful, or they might get all competitive, or maybe they’ll get defensive because they’re going through a rocky patch.

Obviously I don’t wish to spend my entire time talking about The Boy, but as we would spend a great deal of time together, I’m obviously going to have things to say about him or stories that he’s involved in! I mean even the love-loving bloggers post about a variety of things that don’t include their significant others: nobody wants an overkill of anything.

But I just feel that in life, people are quite intolerant of other people’s relationships. The mere mention of boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner/etc has people attempting to stifle yawns, while feigning mild interest and moving the conversation quickly on. The ‘independent’ singles look irritated and pitying at the fact you’re tied to another human being and attempting to bore them with your mundane relationship-related.

I know there are some people that rub their relationships in your face, and even in the most tranquil of moods, my brain is saying ‘shutupshutupshutup’ when they start talking, but in fairness, even though I love Zooey Deschanel, I’d want to kick something if somebody went on and on and on about her.

And I also know that I do have one or two people who would gladly sit for hours of me raving about The Boy’s lovely loveliness, but I would never do that, because it’s been imbedded in me that no one really wants to hear!

I just think that if a person wants to go “I love my lovely boyfriend cos he’s really sweet and thoughtful and hilarious and just plain great”, well I should be able to do so, without having to feel guilt!

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14 Comments

Filed under Daily Update., General Observations, Photography

14 responses to “I tried to be chill but you’re so hot that I melted

  1. Don’t at all feel guilty that you want to talk about your boy and his loveliness and gift giving, if people have a problem with it they can just piss off haha

    But i agree, sometimes i feel uncomfortable talking about mat, especially to friends. But its kind of hard not to considering he is in my everyday life, hell we live together!! And friends with boyfriends try to make it sort of a competition sometime, like whose boy is better? It can get a bit pathetic…

    But talk all you want about greg, i am happy to hear! (haha do you call him goggins? thats so cute!)

    Hahaah as for my toes!!! It is odd. They are so bloody brown and then my legs are kind of not… ?! whats going on here! Toes shouldn’t be more tan then legs!
    haha and I love that you also have a slutty cat. You can just tell that if they were humans they would be such tramps! Ah, i love it xxx

  2. Mat is usually just Mat but if I am annoyed with him I call him Mathieu haha

    ughhhhh I know what you mean! it can be very frustrating.
    Story: I was really good friends with this guy back in Australia and my best friend HATED him, loathed him would say “I wish you weren’t friends with him he is so annoying.” My best friend and I then went away to europe together and she returned last year and within a month of being home began dating my good friend, the same game she hated. Thats all fine, but then he told me that she tells everyone they have been together for 3 years (when really its only 6 months) I asked her, why do you tell people 3 years? you know thats not true! And she honestly said, well I want people to take us seriously so if they think we have been together longer then you and Mat its fine.

    ……………………………………………………………… what???????????

    she has now moved in with him and said “well you moved in with Mat” – what cause I moved in with him after being together for 16 months means you have to move in with your boyfriend after 6 months (or 3 years, whatever…)

    frustrating! people are crazyyyy!!!

    Apart from that haha I am very good thanks, the job is great, they are on holidays in netherlands at the moment so i get 3 weeks off woohooo!
    How are you darling?? xxx

  3. I can’t believe she said that!!! Maybe we are talking about the same person?? haha
    When I was in Aus and mat in france or when I was in germany I completely avoided the opposite sex too! and would get comments from crazy friend saying “if you do anything he’ll never know”…. but i dont want to do anything, i love this guy!! Nutters.

    Hmm.. I don’t actually she thinks she is crazy, she thinks she is right about everything so i’ll let her be in her little world, too much drama for me at times!!

    spirit killing jobs are just the worst, they really have the power of sucking the life and inspiration out of you at times. I am glad you have a wonderful supportive family and boy!! You definitely deserve the love.

    I can’t wait for london!! I don’t need to buy anything (although I will hit up oxford street just in case) I just want to be there. Be amongst the atmosphere and beautiful buildings. Mat & I are so bad, we really didnt have the money to afford to go but we found the cheapest tickets that we thought, what the heck, we can be poor for a while!!! Its a good next few weeks for me. I have 2 au pairs that I met in germany coming next week, then london, then another au pair staying with me and then hopefully by then it will be time to go to aus, man i can’t wait!!! Are you counting down the days yet till your big adventure?
    If you need to practice some aussie slang let me know :p xxxx

  4. I think it’s fantastic!!! & it’s so good you have yourself a boy who will think outside the box like that.

    It’s strange – I have one friend that I go to with everything about the boy, the good, the bad, and more recently, the ugly, she will sit there and let me vent everything out. And then I stop & breathe & say, ‘Thank you’ because sometimes we just want to gush and go all girly and silly and tell someone that we write their surname next to our first name, just to see how it looks…. Once it’s out then we’re ok, but I swear it’s not healthy to hold it all in!

    =) xx

  5. This is SO true!!! Sometimes I’m sad I don’t know my blogger friends in real life…heh. Nice blog 🙂

    xox, mavi

  6. Suz

    ha! I tend not to care what people think on this one! There are obv things that are special and just between me and Conor – but if he does something awesome (which he tends to do on a fairly regular basis) I’ll tell the people in my life!

    Also – PS. I would be more than happy to hear all about you and Greg at any time 🙂

  7. I think it’s okay to mention once in a while. I talk about my boyfriend when I want to brag about his work (he’s an artist) or when he buys me crafty stuff (I have a craft blog) or when he does extremely sweet that I just have to share or I’ll burst. 😀

  8. You shouldn’t feel guilty about it at all dear! I love reading other people’s love posts, just because you can feel how happy they are, and it always puts a smile on my face. I never mind my friends talking about their siginificant others, I really do find it adorable really. Besides, if someone is important in your life, and means a lot to you, why not talk about them 🙂

  9. haha it is funny the things we share with ‘strangers’ online vs the people in our real life. but youre right – its more about celebrating the good stuff here!
    loooove the line from that song!

  10. I quite agree with you. I actually never talk clothes/fashion with friends either, so my blog is my one outlet for that.
    P.S. Plan your dream party away, but I would love a shout-out for the idea. 🙂

  11. Elisa

    From a single down in singletown, I’ve no problem reading about your boy. It makes me happy because I have such lovliness somewhere in the future (god willing). Now, if I were sitting right next to you, and you never shut up about it, I might have a problem then… but not in blog-land. If I’m in a bad mood I can stop reading and come back later when I’ve got more estrogen in me.
    nice post.

  12. You’ve done it again. Amazing writing.

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