Something occured to me last night.
As I admired the beautiful vintage-styled pocket watch necklace bestowed on me by The Boy, I decided I absolutely had to post about this when I got online again. I knew my blogger friends would be delighted to hear that I was given such a thoughtful gift, after they knew how much I’d admired it.
And then I realised that I probably wouldn’t be telling any of my Actual Life people about it…
One thing I’d noticed about the blogosphere is that people love Love. We all love reading about each others’ lovely boyfriends and girlfriends and the sweet and thoughtful things they do. We all love sharing our own Other Half stories too.
It’s not sappy, it’s not attention-seeking, it’s not showing off. It’s just a bunch of bloggers letting other bloggers know that they’re in happy loving relationships!
And even people who are living the life of the young, free and single join in with the Ooooo-ing and Awh-ing: there’s no bitterness, no grudges, no bad feeling (well, I don’t think there is, lol!).
But there’s always a reluctance to talk about these bits and pieces with people you’re friends with and spend time with and have known for years. I can feel myself cringe and trip over my words as I utter the phrase “My Boyfriend” to a workmate who doesn’t know who ‘Greg’ is, or an old college friend who’s wondering who I’m going to Australia with. When The Boy has surprised me or done something really sweet or said something absolutely perfect, I find myself keeping it out of my Life Update when talking to my friends. You can nearly hear the sigh and see the bored look as you think of saying ‘Oh Greg gave me this/surprised me/etc…”
And why is it?
Well if it’s a single friend, you feel like they’re going to make them feel bad or bore them or irritate them or worse: have them think you’re one of those Bridget Jones-type Smug (not yet) Married Couples. I don’t think I said the word ‘Boyfriend’ for my first year with The Boy, referring to him as ‘the guy I’m seeing’ or something equally ‘whatevs’, while on the inside I was screaming ‘I loooooove him’. (sorry if this embarrasses you, Goggins! :P). I had this terrible fear of becoming that girl who starts every sentence with My Boyfriend and divulges intimate information you really never wanted to know…
And then if it’s another girl in a couple, you feel that they’ll feel bitter because maybe their boy isn’t as thoughtful, or they might get all competitive, or maybe they’ll get defensive because they’re going through a rocky patch.
Obviously I don’t wish to spend my entire time talking about The Boy, but as we would spend a great deal of time together, I’m obviously going to have things to say about him or stories that he’s involved in! I mean even the love-loving bloggers post about a variety of things that don’t include their significant others: nobody wants an overkill of anything.
But I just feel that in life, people are quite intolerant of other people’s relationships. The mere mention of boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/partner/etc has people attempting to stifle yawns, while feigning mild interest and moving the conversation quickly on. The ‘independent’ singles look irritated and pitying at the fact you’re tied to another human being and attempting to bore them with your mundane relationship-related.
I know there are some people that rub their relationships in your face, and even in the most tranquil of moods, my brain is saying ‘shutupshutupshutup’ when they start talking, but in fairness, even though I love Zooey Deschanel, I’d want to kick something if somebody went on and on and on about her.
And I also know that I do have one or two people who would gladly sit for hours of me raving about The Boy’s lovely loveliness, but I would never do that, because it’s been imbedded in me that no one really wants to hear!
I just think that if a person wants to go “I love my lovely boyfriend cos he’s really sweet and thoughtful and hilarious and just plain great”, well I should be able to do so, without having to feel guilt!