Dear Annoying People Who Take The Bus,
(Specifically those of you who open all the windows you can reach).
I know you might think it’s warm: maybe the sun actually came out for five minutes and you’re feeling all footloose and fancy-free. So you waddle onto one of our beautiful Dublin Bus buses and instead of, oh I dunno, taking off your jacket, you instead proceed to yank open all the previously closed windows around you.
Now in future I would like you to take note of the following things when you feel a compulsion to do this:
- If everyone on the bus is shivering, this is an indication that it may be too cold to open the windows. Similarly is everyone is cuddled up in their winter coats, you can assume extra cold air is not required.
- If you break into a sweat just getting out of your chair, then you’re probably equiped with a much larger amount of adipose tissue and therefore are always going to be far more insulated than the majority of the population who are not giant fatties so deal with it instead of punishing non-obese people.
- If you’ve just come on a bus that is about halfway through its route and all the windows have been left closed, that has to tell you that the general consensus is that it’s bloody freezing and so heat needs to be conserved. Obvious exceptions are if you are the ONLY PERSON on the bus, or if every person on the bus is armless (in which case you should politely ask if anyone minds ….and maybe wonder if you’re on the wrong bus).
- Just because it’s summer doesn’t mean it’s actually hot and warrants window opening on public transport: we live in IRELAND so every season is Winter.
- All this crap about ‘fresh air’ is stupid and lame. If everyone on the bus is bundled up in winter woolies, there is more than enough ‘fresh air’ and if you let anymore ‘fresh air’ in, you’re going to give everyone pneumonia and I doubt you’re going to be the one to foot THOSE medical bills!
- Anybody who doesn’t have two brain cells who spend their time fighting for dominance, knows that because those windows are at the top of the window pane AND only open to a 45 degree angle, any air that comes in whooshes to the back of the bus. Therefore when you sit at the front of the bus and open all the windows around you, you’re not going to notice much of a difference, but the people in the back have ICICLES forming on their faces. Basically, if you have to be so GODDAMN SELFISH and still insist on opening a window to fan your moist brow, sit at the back of the bus and open ONE window right in front of you.
You are not the only person on the bus and nobody cares what YOU ALONE want: we must work for the greater good …I’m pretty sure it says that in the bible ….or Harry Potter ….lol it was in Harry Potter (Deathly Hallows) …well Harry Potter SHOULD be our bible.
In summation, stop being selfish jerks.