A little rant about….The Inconvenience of Religion

So it’s 9pm on a Tuesday night: a Tuesday night that just so happens to be the Tuesday night of 2010’s Pancake Tuesday.

Hurrah, you say.

Pancakes galore, you rejoice.

Buttery sugarly heaven, you gasp.

I have long believed that Pancake Tuesday should be made a national holiday.

Back in the olden days, when Ireland was in the iron-clad grip of the Catholic Church and constantly threatened with a good smite-ing from Himself, Pancake Tuesday was kinda treated like a national holiday.

For those of you who just think Pancake Tuesday is a commercial holiday conspired by egg and milk companies, in a manner similar to Valentines Day and Halmark, think again: it’s actually a religious day, called Shrove Tuesday, where people made pancakes with the leftover nice food as a final treat before the seven weeks of hell known as Lent!

Well it’s not really hell anymore considering all us Catholics are a little heathen-like nowadays.

When I was younger my Ma tried to prevent my soul burning in hell by making me give up all number of nice foods during the Lenten season and so, for 40 days a year, all that you could find in my lunchbox was raisins and jam sandwiches.

She also made my go to mass once a week….every week….until I was 18.

It wasn’t too awful during the years we went every Sunday morning, but due to a priest shortage, our local Church could only provide a Saturday night service from the time I was about 15.

Rough translation:

during my teens, when all my friends were spending their Saturday nights going to discos and terrorising old people and wearing the faces off each other against damp walls covered in used chewing gum and snails, I was in mass.

Naturally enough, I counted down the days until my 18th birthday, spent the 3 months before it goading my mother with the fact I couldn’t WAIT to abandon my religion and did a “In your FACE! You can’t make me go anymore! HA HA HA!” dance in front of her the morning of my 18th birthday.

My birthday was on a Saturday, so it was extra meaningful as I waved her off to mass on my very first day of freedom, grinning like only a snotty teenager can.

And then the Pope died that night.

My mother still blames me for that…..

*sigh*

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14 Comments

Filed under A little rant about...., Daily Update., General Observations

14 responses to “A little rant about….The Inconvenience of Religion

  1. that made me laugh out loud!! luckily my family have never been the religious type (my dad recently said ‘i don’t trust anyone who’s closely associated with the catholic church!’) so wasn’t made go to mass, but i can empathise with that story because all my friends have been victims of forceful churchgoing all their lives!
    my mom did use lent as an excuse to make us eat healthily when we were little… she no longer has that power!!
    xx

  2. haha totally caught me off guard with the end – hilarious. i dont believe in lent:)

  3. Eve

    This is just hysterical! I love it! You are so funny and you don’t seem like you’re forcing it! Well done.
    Fortunately my parents aren’t really religious so I was spared the long hours of mass. To be honest, I don’t think I would have made it a day.

  4. I still don’t get how you could be forced into doing something as related to religion! My father is conservative when it comes to religion and he’s never forced me to do anything!

    Hermia, you make me smile/laugh 😀

    • Well my mum is very religious and nearly all schools in Ireland teach Catholicism as a compulsory subject, so she felt it was her duty to look after by soul until I was a legal adult. She really believes in her religionso it does make sense that she’d want to make me an active Church-goer…..it’s the same reason so many parents get their children baptised …..she wants to make sure God won’t smite me!

  5. my mother doesnt let me talk to people who dont go to mass…kidding

    • Lol …..well I don’t really go anymore. I’m in a Church Choir, because some of my friends love it and so it’s a social thing for me…..I go maybe once a month, do you can talk to me for the majority of the year! 😛

  6. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    Sorry to laugh at you murdering the Pope because of your heathen ways but that make me ACTUALLY lol. The office think I’m choking now…

  7. gillian

    ha what a great story, my mother was the same forcing me to go to mass every week, and extra masses at easter! turning 18 ended all that thankfully!

  8. hahaha oh my gosh i laughed out loud at the end, ha! omg i totally forgot i have to give up meant. urgh! but pankcake day should definitely be put itno practice world wide. maybe once a week? haha! 😉 xo!!

  9. emily cross

    All i wanted today was a nice chicken roll 😦

    Instead I had to go veggie!

    I’m completely ala carte half catholic/half something else agnostic yet here i am staring at my (non-meat) lunch.

    Damn!

  10. ee i nearly fell off my chair laughing at this one!!

  11. Anona

    You killed the Pope?!…well of course not.

    I actually like going to church now but it wasn’t my favourite thing growing up, it all depends on the church. And sadly I have no idea what Lent is…I’m not catholic, but it sure sounds like a blast. Luckily I left home at 17yrs old so, I didn’t have to wait til 18.

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