Going Back In Time…

Well I’ve had a bit of a nostalgic week.

I spent a large amount of time attempting to hunt down my old diaries so I could share some gems with my lovely readers, and while I still haven’t found them, I did come across my old external hard-drive, which has loads of my old college paper articles.

During second year in college, I was the Sex and Relationships writer for the Arts section.

Admitedly, I knew very little about relationships at that time, but my lovely arts editor was always good for a few ideas to get me going.

It’s a bit cringey to think I was preaching about relationships having clocked up, uhm, one at the time, but when you’re in college, you really do think you know EVERYTHING.

This was one I thought  I’d share with you….mainly because it didn’t suck and also because I like Cluedo.

Thankfully I’ve been spared bad experiences with Exs, due in large part to the fact that The Boy was busy being Too Cool to have girlfriends before moi (thank you The Boy), but I’ve watched enough Chick Flicks to know my stuff…

The Case of the Ex

Every relationship is difficult.  It’s a fact.

The smallest thing can knock a couple back to square one; maybe knock them off the board altogether.  There are obstacles that must be jumped over, axes to be dodged, and falling pianos to side-step.  But there’s always something that will trip you up. Something buzzing about that you can’t quite squish.

What exactly is this relationship murder weapon?  You guessed it!  Ms. Scarlet herself …it’s the Case of the Ex.

Players to your positions.   But this time it isn’t Mr Black who has been murdered.  In this game you have to find the killer before they find you.

It applies mainly to girls, of course.  Ex-boyfriends have that macho-possessive quality but fail to make much of an impact.

But the girls?  Well, as everyone knows, a woman’s choice of weapon is poison.

Girls just can’t fight honestly and because of that, you very rarely know what it is exactly that you’re fighting.  She makes remarks around you, but is as sweet as honey at the same time.  Name-dropping is a must.  “Oh, I was speaking to (insert your boyfriend’s name here) earlier …” and she pauses to take a look at your reaction.

But a lot of the time, the murder is being cultivated away from you.  She’ll call your boyfriend over to ‘help with something’.  You see, even though they broke up, they’re still ‘such good friends’, and because they know each other ‘so well’, he’s the only one she can turn to when something happens.

And she’ll use this.

The fact that you’re already insecure about yourself, and she happens to be gorgeous, means you start to worry.  She had him before, so why can’t she have him again?  What if  her hanging onto him makes him realise he actually still loves her and they’re going to get back together and, after leaving you alone with cats, they’ll whisk off to Hawaii where they will set up a surfing school to fund their warm nights of lying on the beach with cocktails *pauses for breath*.

You’re insane, of course.  In theory, they wouldn’t have broken up if he still loved her, and chances are he is oblivious to all that’s going on (guys never pick up on the little things!!).  But you still panic, and may become a little psychotic and possessive yourself.  Then, before you know it, ‘relationship’ has been murdered in the library with a spoon!

Girls are too possessive.  It’s not necessarily that we still like the guy, we just hate when they stop liking us. It’s a control thing, and plus, the attention makes us feel good.  Most have the morals not to act on these feelings. It’s just that some girls never quite figured out how to be ladies…..

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9 Comments

Filed under Daily Update., General Observations

9 responses to “Going Back In Time…

  1. Ahh the Ex. Boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend was a millionaires daughter.

    A MILLIONAIRES daughter

    What did I have? A stick of gum and a Kinder egg and he chose ME

    BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    In your face Ex lol

  2. Suz

    lol my favourite one!

  3. Wow – pressure! Id love to be a millionaires daughter!

    Love x

  4. firstly, i have the great fortune of not living in the same country as any of my exs..yes the heartache of losing me makes it too hard for them to stay..

    and well, ex girlfriends of current/other boys…you just have to laugh at them really, i mean, play all the games they want…THE BALL IS IN MY COURT!

  5. Eve

    Heheheh I love digging up old things I wrote! It’s such fun to laugh at how you wrote, or totally off you were.
    I loved reading this! You sound like a detective meets teen magazine! hehehe

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