I do not have a weird collection of kittens posing seductively.
And I visit LolCats purely for the humour factor….
So The Boy came home from his weekly family dinner on Sunday evening.
I had spent Sunday afternoon with my feet up on the couch, sorting through my overwhelmingly large image collection while drinking buckets of tea.
Judy spent this time curled up on the Kitten Chair and Floyd slumbered behind the mattress that’s currently propped up against the wall in the spare room (we’re redecorating….very slowly).
Up she jumped on me, and after sniffing me for a minute and looking terribly dissatisfied, she jumped onto The Boy.
Suddenly she started sniffing urgently at his chest.
“What’s up with her?” I asked.
“No idea,” said The Boy.
Next she began to rub her face off his shirt and soon she was rolling around and stretching out and purring like a motorbike (this was done on The Boy’s chest), all alternated between addict-like sniffing.
“Uhm….” said The Boy looking a little nervous.
“Did you drop food on your shirt while you were eating?” I asked, watching my baby roll on her back like a $10 hooker.
“No, definitely not,” he said, watching her writhe in sheer pleasure.
She made her way to his neck, rubbing her face against it and purring loudly.
“Ringo (to protect his brother’s super secret identity) sprayed some of his aftershave on me,” he said.
“So he did,” I said.
We watched our increasingly frantic kitten.
“Uhm, you don’t think….you know….that it’s having an effect on her, do you?” I asked.
“Ah no,” he said. “It’s not that….”
“Uhm, she’s acting like cats I’ve seen encouraging male, eh, friends,” I said. “Plus that’s how Cartman’s cat in South Park carried on when she was in heat.”
We watched her for another minute.
“Uhm yeah, I’m just going to take her off you,” I said and I put her down on the floor where she continued to roll around, baring her stomach for all to see.
She tried to hop back onto the couch about 10mins later and when I picked her up, I realised she had rubbed herself off him so much that she know smelled like the aftershave herself.
Eventually Floyd appeared and spent 5mins washing the smell off her.
We all still feel a little dirty….
The Boy has promised never to accept sprays from that aftershave again…..