A little rant about….thoughtlessness

Foreword: I know I try to keep things light and positive (or at least hilariously mean) on A Chick Named Hermia, but I need to get something off my chest and I want some sympathy dammit!

So I’m a little irritated.

As you know, it was my birthday a little while ago and while I’m cool with being a lovely selfless *cough* person during the year, when it comes to my birthday, I do find myself insisting that sweet attention comes my way.

I mean, I have no problem putting in lots of effort for other people’s birthdays and for the likes of Mother’s Day and I really enjoy doing it, but this is my one day in the year and dammit, I want it recognised!

I don’t ask for lots of presents or parades (although I wouldn’t say no), but I expect a bit of thought and some effort.

So there was this one person who is pretty significant in my life, who will remain nameless for legal reasons (let’s call him/her X) who made some effort and then made a thoughtless decision that affected my birthday celebrations.

It wasn’t the absolute end of the world, but this person knew I was emotional mess that weekend after a disaterous trip to the hairdressers that left my looking like Tony the Tiger, and quiet frankly their decision upset me, because it made things awkward for me and people should not make things awkward for you on your birthday.

They should be doing the very opposite.

To make matters WORSE, X is currently acting the victim and SHOCK UPON SHOCK is currently not talking to me, because I made it known that I was really annoyed at their decision.

They had two free weeks during which they could have done this thing that messed up my day and it wouldn’t have affected me at all, but they decided to do it the night before my mini-celebrations.

*sigh* I’ve a feeling that everyone reading this is going What The Hell Are You Talking About?

It’s tough to explain properly without going into  details, but just accept that X absolutely didn’t need to do what they did, but thoughtlessly did so anyway….and now they’re trying to punish me for calling them up on it.

Messed up, right?

Well, I’m not giving in to just save the peace.

To be honest, although I was hurt about what happened, I would’ve forgiven it if I’d gotten an apology text after the day.

It’s this high-horse routine that’s REALLY annoyed me.

I know I might have overreacted a little, but I was really hurt and I’ve had a few crap birthday’s these last few years, so I had a lot riding on this year to be a good one and X knew that it was important to me….I even put in a lot of effort myself to make sure things went OK!

In fact, I purposely didn’t do the thing X did, so that my mini-celebration wouldn’t be affected and X wouldn’t be annoyed that I had done something that thoughtless to ruin their efforts.

Pretty frickin’ ironic, isn’t it?

Anyway, I know I’m no angel and that I’m being as stubborn as hell here, but it really kills me when people hurt me and it’s just plain-not-fair for me to have to make the effort to fix this.

*stamps foot and sulks*



Filed under A little rant about...., Daily Update.

23 responses to “A little rant about….thoughtlessness

  1. Great blog! Happy birthday and I hope you feel better soon 🙂

  2. Poor thing, totally understand this! A similar thing happened for me on my birthday this year, it really sucked!

    • It’s tough, because when you look at it without emotion, you’re saying, Well was it REALLY that big a deal, but because it’s a really important person in your life, you just expect more thought!

  3. Poor you! Birthdays should utterly be about the birthday girl (or boy!) and no one else! My friend was pretty thoughtless on my birthday last year (which also happened to be my 18th – a big birthday!) and made a scene at my birthday party which I was annoyed about 😦
    She did say sorry though so I have forgiven her 🙂

    • Silly friend….there’s always one that has to make a scene!

      I know this issue wasn’t as big as yours, but as I said it was just a really important person and it hurt me, and hurts me even more that they’re making this about them when really they should have apologised properly for not thinking!

      I mean I don’t expect the world to stop because I was a year older, but I’d expect the really, really close people to make an effort! In fact, I’d only made a huge deal out of X”s special occasion a few weeks before that!

  4. To be honest, birthdays cease to be of real importance once you hit the big 21, anything after that…well, if someone recognises it that’s nice but if not, really, it’s just another day.

    People have their own lives, you can’t expect them to rearrange around you,even if you would do it for them.

    I couldn’t deal with that kind of high maintenance in a friend.

    • Ah that’s ridiculous….birthday’s will always be important to close friends and family, regardless of what age you are! If you care about someone, you care about their birthday! I’m not at all expecting giant parties and lavish gifts or for people to ‘rearrange’ their lives; just a bit of thought.
      This person wasn’t exactly a random acquaintance.

      And lol, it’s hardly high maintenance to expect your family to be thoughtful on your birthday, ESP if you always make efforts for theirs.

      A good friend will make the effort and the friend who is blasé about the things that are important to you is a pretty shit friend.
      I couldn’t deal with that kind of ‘friend’.

    • Birthdays are always important. Every year you turn one year older! Whether it’s a milestone or not it’s still the anniversary of your birth and the people who know you and love you should still wish you well on that day. Just because there’s not a huge party to mark the occasion, doesn’t mean it should just feel like a normal, everyday day.

  5. ugh I know the type…i have a link somewhere for ‘how to make really great voodoo dolls’ teehee

  6. my birthday is one of those sacred events that I would ultimately hate for everyone to ruin! Omg had this happened to me, I would have gone mad at the person. That’s rubbish!

  7. People are insensitive, they’re jerks, they constantly do the wrong thing, especially if they know it’s the wrong thing subconsciously. But they’re just people, and time heals. If the apology never comes, then they’re effectively giving you a chance to be ‘no angel’ to them.

    Sometimes revenge is better than forgiveness. It’s certainly a hell of a lot more fun!

  8. emilycross

    Hermia there’s a reason – It’s my birthday and I can cry if I want to.

    Birthdays are like wedding days for the bride. It’s meant to be about you, so you entitled to get upset!! Like you said, I’m sure it would have been all resolved if she had text you next day to apologise etc. rather than acting the victim.

    For my 22nd birthday, my friend announced her engagement. It was spontaneous cause we were all there at once. She was so apologetic about doing it, cause she just blurted it out, but i was absolutely delighted for her and felt it made the night even more special, but she recognised the fauxpas (even if i didn’t think it was one)

  9. Silly, silly X. I hope it gets sorted out… It’s horrible to have your birthday ruined. I’ve never had mine properly screwed over, but this year I have a feeling it’s going to be very insignificant.. You see, one of my best friend’s birthday happens to be the day before mine. For both his birthday and mine we will both be at a festival with a few friends, so I have a feeling that his birthday is going to be full of celebration and cheery spirit, and then midnight will come and everyone will sort of feel “oh.. now it’s georgie’s birthday.. … nope, can’t be bothered!”

    oh well, oh well!!
    I’m preempting problems I guess!


  10. Oh I hate when birthdays are ruined! Similarly to Georgie, my friend’s bday is the day after me but he’s a year younger! So when I turned 21 I had my party planned and then he decided he was having one too the weekend after (for his 20th mind!) but he told people it was a joint party for both of us. He text everyone and then people started texting me saying ” but I thought your party was this weekend”. I was livid! It got sorted in the end but I haven’t yet got over him trying to steal my thunder!!

    Hope you feel better about it tomorrow x

  11. I’ll admitt that if my parents or boyfriend did not acknowledge my birthday I would be pissed but friends to me are different.

    I send all my friends a birthday text, sometimes I see them for their birthday, sometimes not, I wouldn’t change plans for someones birthday, I wouldn’t really plan around it……guess I am not really a birthday person?

    I suppose the main thing is to make sure you are on the same page about the whole thing.

    • emilycross

      VoodooLady (love that name) – i think what you said is key:

      “I suppose the main thing is to make sure you are on the same page about the whole thing.”

      X should have known that doing x,y,z would have upset Hermia, the same way Hermia knew that if she had done the same thing it would have upset X.

      With different people who were on the same page (i.e. not really bothered with whole birthday bash thing), it might have been alright or not that big of an issue.

  12. Arg that’s annoying…. I hope you were able to enjoy your bday though!

  13. Firstly belated happy birthday. I haven’t had great birthdays but by now, i have stopped giving them much importance. A word of un-needed advice: don’t rely on others to keep you happy. be happy and celebrate regardless.

    have fun. xox

  14. Awww… I have no clue what your talking about, but I know I have been in the same situation 🙂 Hope things looks up and X comes clean.

    Thanks so much for visiting my blog and leaving a nicey. Have a great day, darling!

  15. I completely agree…its always nice to get something off your chest (even if it has to be decoded a little!) Hopefully X will come to their senses?

    Love love love,



  16. I’m not really sure what you are talking about m’dear but AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW *lavishes sympathy* People buggering things up around your birthday is like the worst and most inconvenient time to bugger things up. You should celebrate your Un-Birthday in protest!

  17. Sometimes, people make things more complicated when a simple apology can really do wonders. X deserves this. 🙂

    PS – My website was busted for a while. It’s back up but I lost some content and your comments (that I really treasure). BIG SAD but life goes on, yeah? Adding you to my blogroll again. 🙂

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