Secret Story No.9

This is something that’s been bugging me recently and I just really need to talk to someone about it before it drives me insane.

So, there’s this girl I know who I’ve kind of liked for years, but she was in a relationship most of the time I knew her. That ended a few months ago. For the past few weeks we spent a lot of time hanging out. We had all kinds of in-jokes and stuff and just generally seemed to click.

People started telling me that it was obvious that she liked me and that I should try to make a move. I’m not very outgoing so I thought I should start small and just asked her to come out with a small group of my friends. Anyway, she said yes and everything seemed great.

Things seemed to be going great for the next while. We hung out casually a bit and (in my opinion anyway) seemed to get along great. Then, the day before we were meant to go out with my friends, things just got really weird.

I ran into her in the morning and everything was great. She seemed in a brilliant mood, we joked around as usual, and when she had to leave for a few hours we agreed to meet up afterwards. Then, when she came back, something was just different. She just sort of wandered past, said hi, and then ran off to hang out with her other friends. She didn’t even acknowledge our plans from earlier.

Then, later that night, we spent some time together in a big group of friends and, while she started out being a bit chatty (though not nearly as much as usual), she eventually seemed to be getting sick of me or something. I’d try to crack one of our regular jokes and she just wouldn’t go for it, and she sat practically with her back to me for most of the evening.

The next day was when we were meant to be going out with my friends. I was really excited, though a bit shaken after what had happened the night before. Then, fifteen minutes before we were meant to meet up, she texted me to cancel. She gave an excuse which I’m not sure I believe given the events of the day before, but I texted back anyway and said I understood and asked her if she’d like to meet up some time during the week, and… nothing. No reply. I waited and then ran into her the next day and she never even mentioned it. Didn’t even ask how the night went or anything.

Now I have no idea what’s going on. Did I do something to offend her? Even if she didn’t like me the way I liked her, I’d have been glad to just hang out as friends. One of my other friends told me it’s probably all just a big coincidence and she’s probably just upset about something completely unrelated to me, but it only seems to be me that her attitude has changed to. To be honest I don’t know what to feel at the moment. On the one hand I feel like an idiot and I don’t want to speak to her, but on the other I just want to know what happened. Things seemed so great just a short while ago.

I’m thinking I should probably just give up and move on. I think it’s pretty clear she’s not attracted to me, and I’m just really annoyed that she wouldn’t just be upfront and tell me if she has a problem with me. Or maybe I’m just reading too much into things.

Anyway, any advice from anyone is appreciated. It just felt really good to vent all this.



Filed under Secret Stories

10 responses to “Secret Story No.9

  1. Nadia

    hi! i just blog hopping. uhm… i think she knew that you liked her. she doesnt know how to react so she acted like what she did. just a piece of my thought. taa~

  2. emilycross

    First off


    Second, was she just acting different with you? or was she just different all together?

    I think it was lousy of her to just cancel right before yeh were heading out, but it might have nothing to do with you or your behaviour. You never know what’s going on with other people, but maybe you should ask a common friend if something happened or ask her yourself.

    You never know, she might have gotten a text from or bumped into her ex or someone might have made a comment to her that upset her or something is going on with her. Obviously something happened in the few hours she went away and I don’t think it was anything you did, but maybe might have to do with you two getting on so well.

    I don’t think you should just leave it though, I think that you’re better off asking her, otherwise you’ll always wonder ‘what if’.

    You don’t even need to reveal how you feel, just ask her as a friend, is something wrong because you notice she’s been acting strange towards you.

    I hope this helps! Huge Hugs

  3. I think she had an appoinment or meeting or whatever and was frustrated.. maybe you should just ask her in person what´s going on…hopefully she will answer 🙂

  4. phil

    Hmmm. This might seem like a weird thing to do but if you think about it, what have you got to lose?

    It seems to me she knows you like her and is struggling with how to let you know that she doesn’t feel the same. Now, that might not be what she’s doing at all but if I was a betting woman, I’d say that’s it. But even it if isn’t..why not send her a text or an email that says, Look, I’ve noticed things have been off lately. I guess it might be because you think I like you more than a friend. Which is true. But I’m more than happy to be friends if you don’t feel the same. No pressure.’ Or something better than that. You know what I mean. Because then, if she is avoiding you because of this, this might make her feel bad for treating you so badly and at least you can talk about it, and if it’s not, now you’ve told her you like her but also added a ‘no pressure’ message and who knows, she might feel the same!

    A win-win no? …no? Eh.. I’m not sure now. It seemed like a good idea when I started to write that comment…Best of luck anyway, we’ve all been there on one side or the other!

  5. Dora

    Hi 🙂

    Love the blog, Hermia. LOVE it.

    And as for the secret story teller:

    You have to talk to her! Just say you’re aware that you may be reading too much into it, but is/was something bothering her?
    In the end: The only thing that helps is to talk about stuff.

  6. As a girl who has kind of experienced the other side of this problem, I have some possible reasons.

    1) She likes you, just not like that. She likes you but you may have been coming on way too strong and this is her way of telling you to cool down, lay off for a bit… you’re just destined to be friends etc.

    2) She likes you, yes like that, but she needs time to think. You mentioned you were both really good friends. Maybe she doesn’t want to jeopardize that? If the relationship ended would you still be close? Yes the way she went about it was wrong, but her hearts in the right place?

    3) Nothing to do with you at all, a bad day perhaps? Maybe even a bad week, a fight with another mate which made her grouchy or a friend teasing her about you guy’s relationship, which annoyed her a bit and made her avoid you, to prove some sort of a point? Most likely nothing to do with you at all.

    And finally the fourth reason, which is a bit of a soul destroyer and probably not the case at all…

    4) The first reason… minus the plus points. She liked you, you came on too strong, you made it completely obvious to such a degree it was embarrassing and she thinks your ego is huge. So, no, she doesn’t like you much anymore. She probably will start liking you again but never the same degree as she previously did.

    As I said, I doubt completely it was the last reason, because despite popular opinion, the majority of girls aren’t awful bitchy types who only like what they can’t have. If she does end up falling into that category she definitely isn’t worth it. I’m inclined to think it was reason no.3 and that the best thing to do, whatever the answer, is to just ask her. Find out what you’re dealing with, deal with it, finished.

    Hope it helped x

  7. This girl is acting very similar to how I’ve watched myself act many, many times… I don’t think you should give up. I think you should give her some space for a while. Don’t even text her. You have to give these things time. Like Roseanne said, you probably came on too strong and freaked her out, especially as you guys were good friends.

  8. Kar

    To be honest, I think it sounds like she doesn’t feel the same, and is unsure how to deal with it so is simply avoiding the situation. However, I could be wrong, so I think really you should just talk to her and find out what’s going on. Be casual about it, coming on a bit strong might be freaking her out even more. Just ask what’s up?

    Good luck 🙂

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