And next it will be illegal to say ‘No’…

“An outright ban on the smacking of children by their parents is being considered.
The Office of the Minister for Children and Youth Affairs said the prohibition is being kept “under review” and attempts by other countries to legislate for an outright ban are being examined.”

-The Irish Times

This is what I’ve been listening to on the radio for the last few days.
Peace-Sign-Waving-Prats languishing about the important of human rights.
Hippie Mother Earths wailing that if a child receives a slap on a nappied-bum for doing something bold, then they’re going to be psychologically damaged and end up on drugs by Age 15.

Eh sorry love, that tap on the arse for a temper tamtrum is probably what’s going to STOP them ending up on drugs.
Well that’s probably a slight exaggeration, but if a child isn’t properly taught right from wrong at an early age, they’re not going to grasp it later in life.

Yes, a child shouldn’t be beaten around or abused, but you’d be better off trying to reason with a goldfish than to reason with a bold two-year-old.

A texter on Spin 108.3 (never thought I’d ever use anything from that station to back up my own point but…) today said:
“Giving children the same rights as adults implies that children can rationalise in the same way as adults.
What’s next? Banning the use of the Bold Step because it’s the same as false imprisionment?”

I couldn’t have put it better myself.
There’s nothing wrong with a light slap for a bold child that won’t listen to you asking it politely to please stop.
They don’t understand consequences or morals at that age.

This is PC-dum gone mad!

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15 Comments

Filed under General Observations

15 responses to “And next it will be illegal to say ‘No’…

  1. Suz

    Had this debate in work today – and I totally agree with you! God, people are so over PC these days aren’t they?! Its getting ridiculous.

  2. I agree completely. Its ridiculous to balnket ban something like that. One slap on the bum every now and again taught me quick enough what I should and shouldn’t do and by God, my children will get exactly the same treatment.

    And as for enforcing it? If they give any sort of budget to trying to monitor parents slapping children I’ll go mad. Put money into drug addict parents abandoning their kids or not feeding them and buying drugs instead. Put money into truly abusive parents and relatives of children who do more than a little smack on the arse. Bad parenting would be to NOT discipline your child, and to not teach them right and wrong. Grr it makes me so angry.

    It really is PC gone crazy.

  3. asha

    hi, usually I love your blog and agree completely with you on most of your opinions but I don’t understand how hitting a child can be good. Sure its not going to directly lead a child to drugs but by using any amount of violence for anything be it discipline or a consequence is just going to make it clear that violence is okay. Of course I don’t think that children should be treated as adults as you said they don’t understand the morals yet but there are methods other than violence that can teach rules and morals.

    • That’s fair enough!

      See, a light slap on the bum (which is most probably covered by a nappy) isn’t violence. Punching a child or using a weapon against them is violence! No one is saying we should smack children across the face everytime they do any little thing, but if they’ve done something really bad and your reasoning isn’t doing anything, then a slap sends the message home and delivers it in a way they can understand! Telling them you’ve made Mammy sad isn’t going to have an effect on a child throwing a temper tantrum…you put them on the Naughty step and they can get right back up again….take away a toy or turn off the TV can lead to further tantrums and since children have no sense of consequence, they could hurt themselves far more throwing themselves around the place in a temper!
      There’s nothing wrong with a wee slap!

  4. I agree with you, sometimes is too much and this is! Maybe next move is really like you say in the title, it will be illegal to say no..

    Craziness, and maybe lot of free time to think

  5. I think that ‘bold step’ remark is the best I’ve heard on the topic; A light slap that doesnt mark a child is acceptable just so long as the day of getting the belt or wooden spoon out are long gone

  6. I was beaten black and blue if I took a tantrum so I was shit scared do act up again and it did me no harm. No psychological damage either

    I have every intention of giving my kids a slap on the arse if they go too far but other than that it’ll be the naughty step or some other form of punishment those TV show Nannies recommend. 😀

  7. Eimear

    I completely agree with White Rabbit. I was slapped with the wooden spoon and by my parents’ hands if I stepped out of line, and I knew better than to do something again. My parents are great people who I have the utmost respect for. Just because they slapped me when I was a child does not make them bad people. I see with my sister and nephew, she refuses to slap her children, and my nephew can be a demon sometimes. She gets down to eye level with him and says ”now mummy isn’t happy about that” and he LAUGHS at her! If I ever did that to my parents, well let’s just say, I was sore for a few hours after. I have absolutely no psychological damage and have grown up to have a very healthy respect for authority. I don’t do drugs because I would have been murdered! I’d fear my parents more than any drug pusher anyday! PCness has gotten so obsurd, and I can guarantee that if anyone law is passed, you’ll see a lot of parents breaking it, if they want their children to end up right that is. I’m not saying people who don’t slap their kids have bold children or will end up on drugs, far from it, but I think each individual parent has the absolute right to decide what way to punish their children.

  8. Eimear

    any law* that is meant to be 🙂

  9. “Eh sorry love, that tap on the arse for a temper tamtrum is probably what’s going to STOP them ending up on drugs”
    Completely agree. A girl I grew up with was let away with absolute murder by her parents. She ended up leaving home at 16 and pregnant to some loser. I think the little slap or even the threat of it kept me in line. It made me respect my parents more and gave me boundaries. I think if her parents had tried to keep her in line like that she wouldn’t be where she is today..

  10. scaryscontrarymary

    Love the blog Hermia, but I’ll have to disagree with you on this (don’t have opinion about this law, personally I’d rather focus on more serious stuff like state of foster care etc.) –

    Sorry for the length of the post and I totally respect your opinion, so please don’t feel i’m judging/lecturing or anything and obviously i’m not saying parents who slap = BAD parents etc.

    Just from my own experience, my mam was very anti-smack

    e.g. my brother scribbles on wall – rather than slap him, mam explains that she works very hard to have nice house and keep tidy etc. and she felt very hurt that he’d scribble there when he has paper after everything she has done (expert at the auld guilt trip). then mam gets the sponge out and shows him how to clean wall (although she admits that she did most of it cause he was so young that he just didn’t make a dent but he had to stay there and help her till it was done) – result being he never scribbled on the wall (and neither did rest of us after we got the guilt-punishment)

    My mam’s reasoning is – a slap says ‘you’ve done something wrong’ but it doesn’t say ‘what you’ve done wrong or what you need to do to correct it’ so she always made sure that if we did something, we were shown the damage, and made make it right again. Now she’d be the first to say this approach was extremely difficult – and took her a year of this approach with one of my brothers before he stopped his tantrums but then once it clicked, his behaviour improved drastically.

    I believe that it’s easier to give a slap when a child is having a tantrum etc. but it’s more difficult to actually try and reason (sometimes by ignoring the behaviour or on the step) but I believe it’s worth it in the end, even if it may involve more work/patience etc. Problems arise (i think) when parents start reasoning/bold step etc. strategies but then give up and don’t follow through, this happens because often kids will increase the negative behaviour when they don’t get their way – this is when holding firm is key, otherwise it’s all for nought.

    And i think there is a lot of truth in this, especially if you look for e.g. at ABA (a way of modifying behaviour for autistic kids which is based on behavioural psychology)

    In ABA, Operant conditioning (reinforcement and punishment) is used.

    Majority of the time punishment is only used when reinforcement (e.g. reward for good behaviour) has failed. The reason being that punishment often results in unwanted side effects like increase in the undesired behaviour and decrease int he desired behaviour.

    Concerning spanking specifically, there have been a load of studies (which in fairness have been criticised for being methodologically weak etc.)that have shown negative behaviour and spanking but more recent studies (which are sound) have found that children who are spanked have been found to have more negative outcomes than those who aren’t.

    http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1983895,00.html

  11. Totally agree. My parents would only use it as a last resort, but if I was persistently bad despite their best efforts, a (light) slap on the bum by pappy’s slipper did the trick. I don’t think it even hurt, it was more the shock of it, but I’d never misbehave again after that. I think its more a psychological thing than a physical one – showing them who the parent is.

    On the other hand, I’ve an older sister who now has six children, ranging from 15 to 1 years old. She swears by the new-age, PC “reason with your child” technique and the result? The older kids are basically spoilt, selfish brats, who do nothing around the house. The third oldest – despite being incredibly intelligent – is constantly in trouble at school, even being expelled on some occasions.

    I’m not usually a traditionalist; I generally sway towards new methods because I usually find them better. But discipline and a firm hand will always be needed by children.

  12. Shannon

    hitting children is the worse way to get their attention. I was never hit and I turned out just fine and am completely competent knowing right from wrong. I thought Europe was up to speed? i didnt know anyone hit kids anymore.

  13. I’m this Juvenile Delinquency class and we’ve talked about things like this A LOT. It’s all about self-control and if you don’t lay down the law and establish what a child can and cannot do at a young age (before they start school), then that kid is more likely to be a delinquent. So yeah, giving a kid a smack might actually do more good than harm

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