It’s much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality…

The Boy has a number of strange quirks that completely crack me up, but the funniest is his tendancy to panic order.
There’s no logical explanation for it!
If he eats in a strange place, he freaks out and orders whatever he sees.
Now I get a bit anxious if I’m eating in a new place because I hate being the Newbie who doesn’t know how the system works. I’m also a little particular about what I eat, but I take my time and search through the menu before ordering (if the place has an online menu, even better!) or you know, I’ll just avoid the place like the plague and get yet another Subway sandwich, to avoid that awkward scene where you stare at the menu for ages while the Till Person stares you out of it, and then leave without ordering anything when you realise the menu choices/ingredients/prices are crap.
But The Boy…way more amusing.

For example, a couple of weeks ago…
*Hermia has once again forgotten to eat breakfast before a shopping day in town (present shopping…I don’t drag him along on clothes trips…it’s just cruel) and is about to faint. Hermia and The Boy head into the nearest eaterie, which happens to be a McDonalds*
Me: So what are you going to get?
The Boy: What are YOU going to get?
Me: I’m not telling you cos you’ll order it for me and pay.
The Boy: *shifty eyes* No I won’t…. *shiftier eyes*
Till Lady: Next please!
Me: *to Till Lady* cheese burger and twisty fries please. *to The Boy* I hate eating here. Damn my desperation! *wrings hands* What are you getting?
The Boy: Oh, I’ll….uhmm…I’m not really hungry, so…
Till Lady: €4 please. *takes and tills money* *to The Boy* What would you like?
The Boy: *visibly panics* I’ll…uhm….eh…CHICKEN NUGGETS….and uhm….fries…
Till Lady: Medium? Large?
The Boy: *wipes sweat from his brow* Large! And uhm….a Sprite…large Sprite…and a toffee sundae!
Till Lady: Do you mean caramel?
The Boy: *loosens collar* Oh yeah.
Till Lady: Is that everything?
The Boy: *nods as if he’s afraid he’ll order more if he opens his mouth*
Till Lady: €11 please.
The Boy: *hands over money*
“Hermia and The Boy sit down at a table*

Me: The Boy, I thought you said you weren’t hungry.
The Boy: I’m not.
Me: You panicked again, didn’t you?
The Boy: Yup.

Every time……



Filed under Food, General Observations, Random

15 responses to “It’s much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality…

  1. Ach God hahaha. Poor The Boy. I’ll take those chicken nuggets if he’s not having them

  2. I panic order in places I love! I just get nervous, as soon as the waiter/waitress comes over- BAM, I’m trying to order Chinese in Nando’s. Well maybe not quite that far, but ordering food makes me anxious-which is awful really. I love food. :/

  3. Fast food anxiety is a common problem. I wrote an entire article about it in college… Seriously. So many people get stressed out in the fast food ordering situation. They shout “NEXT PLEASE” and they look at you like you’re ruining their life as every second passes. I totally understand The Boy’s issue.

    Still funny tho 🙂 xx

  4. Ah, poor Boy! I panic order in Fallon & Byrne and have had to swap sandwiches with the Bear before. Thank feck he’s not fussy like me.

  5. Haha, it is crazy how panicked ordering fast food can make people. Luckily I’m veggie so there’s mostly only one or two things on a menu that don’t have meat in them. I do get really flustered in vegan/vegetarian restaurants though – there’s too much choice!

    I remember when Subway was a new thing and I didn’t have a clue how to order, was petrified before my friends showed me how it worked! *sigh* I should just make meals at home all the time instead!

  6. Eve

    HHAHAHHAHAHHAH thats sooo funny! You should write a book about you’re life! Please!

  7. When I am in the queue I practice what I am going to say in my head a squillion times before I get to the till!

  8. so once i went on this date with a guy to a pub i hadnt been in before…so i text one of my friends to ask her where the toilets in the pub where so i wouldnt look like i hadnt been there before..and aslo as i didnt plan on wearing my glasses

  9. haha excellent, I do the exact same as your boyfriend. Panic ordering should be recognised as a serious medial condition, well maybe not serious..but a large amount of my funds are wasted on food I don’t even like and that is serious.
    ehh, I am glad I’m not the only one though 🙂

    thanks for your lovely comment ❤


  10. Awhh, the poor thing! Funny story, though. 😛
    I don’t often do that, because I have regulars wherever I go – chicken strips with a shirley temple for more upscale restaraunts; chicken nuggets and a coke for fastfood; and a BLT from Pita Pit or Subway. The rest of the food all looks so yummy, but I’d rather stay with something familiar, when it comes to food at least. I never go wrong. 😛

  11. haha! i share the same strange quirk as him!

  12. I panic order in resturants the WHOLE time – its ridiculous! The waiter/ress is standing there, staring me down and I havent decided what i want yet, so i ask them for another minute, then i take a sip of water glance around at other people in the resturant, remember something that happened to me that day and just have to share it with whoever is at the table, then POOF! they’re back at my table, staring me down! So I just order the first thing I see (which is usually pasta of some sort) rather than telling them to go away again while i go into my own world. must work on that : )

    Just found your blog today – liking it alot, great writer! .x.

  13. I hate being the new person who doesn’t know the menu, probably why I go to the same places over adnd over and over again.

  14. Zoe

    aha, this is such a tangible anecdote! i spent AGES looking at the menu anywhere and this just increases when i’m eating somewhere unfamiliar. i’d never heard of panic ordering until now but i guess its more common than i thought!

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