The Boy has a number of strange quirks that completely crack me up, but the funniest is his tendancy to panic order.
There’s no logical explanation for it!
If he eats in a strange place, he freaks out and orders whatever he sees.
Now I get a bit anxious if I’m eating in a new place because I hate being the Newbie who doesn’t know how the system works. I’m also a little particular about what I eat, but I take my time and search through the menu before ordering (if the place has an online menu, even better!) or you know, I’ll just avoid the place like the plague and get yet another Subway sandwich, to avoid that awkward scene where you stare at the menu for ages while the Till Person stares you out of it, and then leave without ordering anything when you realise the menu choices/ingredients/prices are crap.
But The Boy…way more amusing.
For example, a couple of weeks ago…
*Hermia has once again forgotten to eat breakfast before a shopping day in town (present shopping…I don’t drag him along on clothes trips…it’s just cruel) and is about to faint. Hermia and The Boy head into the nearest eaterie, which happens to be a McDonalds*
Me: So what are you going to get?
The Boy: What are YOU going to get?
Me: I’m not telling you cos you’ll order it for me and pay.
The Boy: *shifty eyes* No I won’t…. *shiftier eyes*
Till Lady: Next please!
Me: *to Till Lady* cheese burger and twisty fries please. *to The Boy* I hate eating here. Damn my desperation! *wrings hands* What are you getting?
The Boy: Oh, I’ll….uhmm…I’m not really hungry, so…
Till Lady: €4 please. *takes and tills money* *to The Boy* What would you like?
The Boy: *visibly panics* I’ll…uhm….eh…CHICKEN NUGGETS….and uhm….fries…
Till Lady: Medium? Large?
The Boy: *wipes sweat from his brow* Large! And uhm….a Sprite…large Sprite…and a toffee sundae!
Till Lady: Do you mean caramel?
The Boy: *loosens collar* Oh yeah.
Till Lady: Is that everything?
The Boy: *nods as if he’s afraid he’ll order more if he opens his mouth*
Till Lady: €11 please.
The Boy: *hands over money*
“Hermia and The Boy sit down at a table*
Me: The Boy, I thought you said you weren’t hungry.
The Boy: I’m not.
Me: You panicked again, didn’t you?
The Boy: Yup.