This was a Christmas present for me from The Boy’s Ma and while it’s lovely and hand-carved and kinda cool to stare at during the daytime, the thing has been known to give me mini heart attacks at night.
If the Scream 4 people are looking for a new mask, this is the way to go.
See the problem is that we haven’t found a specific place to put it yet, so it gets moved around a lot and I never know where I should expect to see it.
So what happens is that I’ll get up during the night for a glass of water, I’ll pad down the hallway that is lit by a single in-the-ceiling halogen bulb (the rest don’t work anymore and we can never find the caretaker to fix them) and when I open the sitting room/kitchen door, the dim light will shine directly on wherever that statue is and I will think a possessed cat has escaped from Pet Cemetary and come for my brains.
A couple of weeks ago, The Boy decided it would be hilarious to use this against me.
I’m a teeth-brushing-wanderer.
As soon as the toothbrush is in my mouth I start strolling around the apartment.
So I load up my brush with toothpaste and step out into the dark hallway and there in the middle of the walkway is The Cat Statue.
“The Boy!!!! I’m going to kill you!” I shout through a mouthful of toothpaste.
I go back into the bathroom to spit and when I come out again, The Cat Statue is sitting even closer to me.
“Not funny!!!!” I shout again walking into the sitting room where The Boy is sitting on the couch looking innocent.
The third time I come out of the bathroom, I catch him moving the statue, so it was a little less creepy, and I made him bring it back into the sitting room.
I fill my glass up with water at the kitchen sink and The Boy heads into the bedroom and when I come out, the frickin statue is sitting in the dark hallway staring at me with its crazy zombie eyes.
My poor heart.