I think it’s safe to say that there are very few occasions that I feel the need to dress to any kind of rule or regulation. Wearing a uniform to school for ten or so years instilled in me the idea that, that unless I was being paid* to do otherwise, I would wear whatever I wanted, wherever and whenever I wanted to.
There are however a couple of times when this mantra has to be abandoned for fear of offending people. Take funerals, for example. Because unless specified by the family of the deceased, wearing a large pink hat, oodles of fake tan and a sheer, mini dress would be downright disrespectful. (Which ever way the deceased may have thought about such an outfit. I know my dear old Grandfather would have loved such brazen hussyness at his funeral. Unfortunately for him attendees were limited to a bunch of portly old cockneys and my sister and I blubbing on the font row). So sombre attire; it just is.
Weddings are another occasion when attire is an issue. This week I’m on a mission to buy a dress for my best friends wedding. I have a few go-to, wedding-guest, dresses in a couple of of wardrobes that I can pull out at the drop of a garter. However, this is my best friend and she has seen every dress I have. I therefore had no choice but to shop for a new one; with this check in mind:
No Jersey, No white, No Black, No Lycra?, No Leather?
So basically my entire wardrobe. Plus; No same-colour-as-the-bridesmaids (This is never really an issue as I very rarely wear pastels…) There was another ‘No’ as well, No Budget. So it was with a heavy heart that I hit Grafton Street.
Whisty: S’up A|wear, how’s it going?
A|wear: Hey Whisty, why the long face?
Whisty: *explains above* … Got anything for me?
A|wear: How ’bout this?
Whisty: Oh hello…!
Whisty: It fits perfectly! But A|wear, it’s black, I can’t wear black to a wedding!
A|wear: Yeah I know, but it’s delicious isn’t it.
Whisty: So you’re just teasing me!?
Whisty: But you’ll know I’ll buy it anyway right?
Whisty: Thanks for your help A|wear…
A|wear: Any time Whisty.
…I’m still shopping. (now with even less budget).
*I mean in the Air Hostess / Traffic Warden kind of capacity, in case you were thinking otherwise…