Following this post about selling condoms, a friend of mine admitted that he also had an embarrassing condom-related story.
He was going away on holiday with his girlfriend and since it was the longest amount of time they’d been alone together, he felt he should stock up.
So into Boots he went and after buying some safe products like Rennies and deoderant, he siddled over the Sex Aisle once the shop had emptied a bit.
He hadn’t a whole lot of experience in condom buying and was slightly panicked by the variety…
“Do I get Extra Safe so no little people are added into the equation or Performa cos I need all the help I can get or should I go for Pleasuremax so that I look experienced and more like a gentleman!? What the f*@% is a Fetherlite!?”
Eventually he settled on something (I didn’t want the details) and so he added a 12-pack to his pile.
Then came the worst part.
As his girlfriend was a newbie, she was having a little difficulty and they thought a lubricant might help.
Understandably, she would have rather died than buy it herself, so he had offered to pick it considering he was already experiencing the Judgement with his condom buying.
He picked out the safest looking lubricant and headed up to the till, where he’d realised the two Young Ones that were working there were having a good look at him and weren’t being very subtle about their laughing and talking about him.
So he went up to the till and plopped everything down on the counter.
The girls smirked at him and one girl began scanning the items in very slowly and made a big deal about bagging them.
Friend paid as quickly as he could, ignoring the sly smiles the girls gave each other as he headed towards the door.
But he wished he hadn’t as when he walked out of the shop, the alarms went off and the girls nearly had heart attacks trying to contain their laughing fits.
So back he went to the till, where a queue had built up, and endured five minutes of shame where the girls slowly unpacked everything, scanned it back in again and took the security sticker off the packet of condoms with a smirk.
What a bitch.