Let me tell you about the time I….wasn’t involved in the embarrassing story

Time to humiliate a person that isn’t me!
Except I’ve been sworn to secrecy, so you’ll never know who it’s about.

Following this post about selling condoms, a friend of mine admitted that he also had an embarrassing condom-related story.

He was going away on holiday with his girlfriend and since it was the longest amount of time they’d been alone together, he felt he should stock up.
So into Boots he went and after buying some safe products like Rennies and deoderant, he siddled over the Sex Aisle once the shop had emptied a bit.
He hadn’t a whole lot of experience in condom buying and was slightly panicked by the variety…

“Do I get Extra Safe so no little people are added into the equation or Performa cos I need all the help I can get or should I go for Pleasuremax so that I look experienced and more like a gentleman!? What the f*@% is a Fetherlite!?”

Eventually he settled on something (I didn’t want the details) and so he added a 12-pack to his pile.
Then came the worst part.
As his girlfriend was a newbie, she was having a little difficulty and they thought a lubricant might help.
Understandably, she would have rather died than buy it herself, so he had offered to pick it considering he was already experiencing the Judgement with his condom buying.
He picked out the safest looking lubricant and headed up to the till, where he’d realised the two Young Ones that were working there were having a good look at him and weren’t being very subtle about their laughing and talking about him.

So he went up to the till and plopped everything down on the counter.
The girls smirked at him and one girl began scanning the items in very slowly and made a big deal about bagging them.
Friend paid as quickly as he could, ignoring the sly smiles the girls gave each other as he headed towards the door.
But he wished he hadn’t as when he walked out of the shop, the alarms went off and the girls nearly had heart attacks trying to contain their laughing fits.
So back he went to the till, where a queue had built up, and endured five minutes of shame where the girls slowly unpacked everything, scanned it back in again and took the security sticker off the packet of condoms with a smirk.

What a bitch.



Filed under Let me tell you about the time I....

9 responses to “Let me tell you about the time I….wasn’t involved in the embarrassing story

  1. Concerning Ramadan: the Islamic calendar is lunar 😀
    But we don’t generally use it, they do in Saudi Arabia though! I mean that’s how they refer to months and such.

    I think I am retarded, but I find it very embarassing buying pads? :S

  2. MORTIFYING….your poor friend. Salesgirls are the ultimate evil when they want to be.

    I think the trick to it is to act like you’re only delighted to be buying flavoured condoms and a vibrating ring. For some reason, crowds start to appear and tills start to break down and intercom announcements have to be made when the buyer is acting like they want the ground to swallow them. I tend to buy those sorts of things with an unearthly confidence and people are too intimidated to look at you. 🙂

  3. Kar

    Oh, its like the ultimate, “Can I get a price check on this box of condoms please,” nightmare! Probably best to adopt the “whatever, smirk all you like but this means I’m gonna get some later!” attitude… 😉

  4. It’s bad enough the little bitches laughed at him when he purchased the things and then it just went down hill from there. Poor guy!

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