As most people who have followed this blog for a long time know, I spent three and a half years working in a deli -in the same shop where I met The Boy.
Over that time, I made at least five million sandwiches, rolls, paninis, wraps and bagels and since I’m OCD-esque perfectionist with things I do, I’d be an expert in the field at this stage.
So you can probably imagine how FRUSTRATED I get when I order a sandwich from a deli and it’s made ARSE-WAYS!
My main gripe is with the Spar next to where I work.
There are girls that have worked there for as long as I’ve been working in my job (over two years) and still haven’t mastered the basics!
They also have THE WORST selection of ready-made sandwiches and salads -everything has either rocket or sweetcorn or both in it and instead of having lots of normal combinations, such as BLTs, they have tuna and egg…
So here are the basics for anyone currently working in or thinking of pursuing a career in the deli sector:
1. A Hot Chicken Roll is called a Hot Chicken Roll for a reason -luke-warm just doesn’t cut it, considering people usually don’t like salmonella with their lunch.
2. Unless otherwise specified by the consumer, butter and sauce go on first and you butter BOTH sides.
3. Butter is not a filling, so stop layering it on.
4. People prefer to eat tidy sandwiches and rolls. Salad -ESP LETTUCE- should be the first filling to be put on. No one wants the meat squished down the bottom under a forest of green that’s falling out everywhere.
5. People KNOW when you’re trying to fill up a sandwich with lettuce and it tastes rotten.
6. Also, lettuce is GREEN. If you’re going to sneak that purple crap in there, tell the consumer first.
7. Marmalade is not jam, so stop putting it on my breakfast bagel when I ask for Butter and Jam.
8. When you’re toasting a bagel, cut it open and toast the inside…do not just toast the outside…idiots.
9. Toasted cheese sandwiches should be TOASTED. Cheese should not be barely melted around the edges and just warm on the inside.
10. If someone wants bacon in their sandwich/roll, I’m pretty sure they don’t want the big piece of fat that comes attached.
11. You should be able to get Tuna&Mayo Mix without sweetcorn…and raisins.
12. When cutting a roll, don’t cut all the way through otherwise everything just falls apart.
13. Over-doing it can be just as bad as being scabby with fillings.
14. If you’re a foreign person in another country’s deli, learn the words for the things your dealing with.
15. Don’t roll your eyes at people who aren’t happy with the mistake you made because you weren’t listening to them. No one should have to hand over money for your mess.
I have many more, but this will do for now!