A little rant about ….Sandwich Making

As most people who have followed this blog for a long time know, I spent three and a half years working in a deli -in the same shop where I met The Boy.
Over that time, I made at least five million sandwiches, rolls, paninis, wraps and bagels and since I’m OCD-esque perfectionist with things I do, I’d be an expert in the field at this stage.
So you can probably imagine how FRUSTRATED I get when I order a sandwich from a deli and it’s made ARSE-WAYS!

My main gripe is with the Spar next to where I work.
There are girls that have worked there for as long as I’ve been working in my job (over two years) and still haven’t mastered the basics!
They also have THE WORST selection of ready-made sandwiches and salads -everything has either rocket or sweetcorn or both in it and instead of having lots of normal combinations, such as BLTs, they have tuna and egg…

So here are the basics for anyone currently working in or thinking of pursuing a career in the deli sector:

1. A Hot Chicken Roll is called a Hot Chicken Roll for a reason -luke-warm just doesn’t cut it, considering people usually don’t like salmonella with their lunch.
2. Unless otherwise specified by the consumer, butter and sauce go on first and you butter BOTH sides.
3. Butter is not a filling, so stop layering it on.
4. People prefer to eat tidy sandwiches and rolls. Salad -ESP LETTUCE- should be the first filling to be put on. No one wants the meat squished down the bottom under a forest of green that’s falling out everywhere.
5. People KNOW when you’re trying to fill up a sandwich with lettuce and it tastes rotten.
6. Also, lettuce is GREEN. If you’re going to sneak that purple crap in there, tell the consumer first.
7. Marmalade is not jam, so stop putting it on my breakfast bagel when I ask for Butter and Jam.
8. When you’re toasting a bagel, cut it open and toast the inside…do not just toast the outside…idiots.
9. Toasted cheese sandwiches should be TOASTED. Cheese should not be barely melted around the edges and just warm on the inside.
10. If someone wants bacon in their sandwich/roll, I’m pretty sure they don’t want the big piece of fat that comes attached.
11. You should be able to get Tuna&Mayo Mix without sweetcorn…and raisins.
12. When cutting a roll, don’t cut all the way through otherwise everything just falls apart.
13. Over-doing it can be just as bad as being scabby with fillings.
14. If you’re a foreign person in another country’s deli, learn the words for the things your dealing with.
15. Don’t roll your eyes at people who aren’t happy with the mistake you made because you weren’t listening to them. No one should have to hand over money for your mess.

I have many more, but this will do for now!

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13 Comments

Filed under A little rant about....

13 responses to “A little rant about ….Sandwich Making

  1. I wonder what will happen if I print this and give copies to workers at this only sandwich place we go to…Their sandwiches could use a bit of prettying up.

    When cutting a roll, don’t cut all the way through otherwise everything just falls apart. –> MAJOR HATE this falling apart sandwich situation. I don’t like eating foods I have to fight with. 🙂

  2. emma

    Ah its so frustrating watching them make a complete balls of your lunch! Dunnes in the Sqaure has possibly the worst hot chicken roll maker in the world. I used to manouvere around the que so I wouldnt have her make my roll. Butter-Mayo-Lettuce-Chicken. Her way No butter-Chicken-Lettuce-A ridiculous amount of mayo thrown on top, not even spread, just kinda dropped on it. I used to have to bring it back to work and re-arrange it

  3. the deli staff here in college are the most amazing roll makers in history… except when it comes to putting stuffing in a roll. They just kinda sprinkle it on top and it’s guaranteed to fall all over your lap when you try to eat.

  4. Grr.
    The worst is when I go to Subway and their cheese is COVERED in bits of meat!!! (I’m a veggie)… I sometimes ask for cheese from out back that isn’t covered in chunks of chicken… but they make me feel like a crazy person for asking… I mean if you don’t eat meat, or have an allergy to something, surely it’s not too much to ask for?
    x

  5. Gosh, I wholeheartedly agree with every single point on the list. I too worked in a busy deli for about a year, a Londis one. Just off Pearse St. So I had to serve junkies their lunch. And barter with them at the end of the day when I had leftovers in the hot counter and no one to sell them to. They’d ask for stuff for free because they knew I’d to throw them out anyway…

    I can’t bear to eat from delis in town anymore, unless the person serving me seems nice enough to put up with my demands for roll perfection. 🙂 I’m delighted someone else feels the detailed deli-related pain that I do. xx

  6. It is the worst isn’t it!! Especially when you are starving and do not want to spend most of your lunch break in a queue to come away with a crapppppy sandwich. It is the little things in life! x

  7. My pet peeve is when cheese is thrown willy-nilly all over your roll so every time you peel back the wrapper you get sprayed with plasticky red cheddar. Or when sauce spurts of of an unseen crack in the sandwich to land in a big dollop on your lap… bad times.

  8. Totally agree with every point! I’ve had countless fights with deli staff! My pet peeve is when they put the lettuce between the chicken and the cheese in hot chicken rolls! I want the chicken to melt the cheese so I get very annoyed when it’s not done right!

  9. J. Elle

    entertaining post 😛 I hope your future encounters will be better!

  10. Who only toasts the outside of a bagel? That’s a massive fail.

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