When my heart rules my head

I’m feeling broody.
The biological clock is ticking away and my ovaries are screaming for something warm and cute to cuddle.
That’s right.
I want another kitten.

But I can’t.
I mustn’t.
You all shared my heartbreak back in September when m’self and The Boy were forced to hand our two babies over to another couple.
Tears were streaming down my face.
There was a dangerous split second when I thought I was going to clutch the cat box to my bosom and flee the country, far away from the small apartment and the new perfect charity-worker owners.
But in the end I did the right thing.
And sobbed my little heart out every time I came home from work to an empty apartment for the following months.

We had to give up the last set of lovable cats for good reasons.
I know that.
It was the best thing for them.
And for our tiny apartment that didn’t actually allow pets.
No more cats until The Boy and I have saved up enough for our own home.
There will be many rooms and vast amounts of space, not to mention a large garden for future cats to frolic in.
It will be perfect.
I had accepted we had to wait until then and I was at peace with the fact.

And then I heard the ISPCA appeal for adopters today.
And I went on the DSPCA website.
And I saw all the cats and kittens who had taken the time to pose for pictures and write their stories.
They were in first person…obviously the animals wrote them, pfft!

That was tough.
But then I came across cats who had listed other cats as their friends.
Read stories of brothers and sisters who were separated.
Saw tired, old cats remain non-adopted.
And the urge became unbearable.

You see I’m a sucker for the rejects.
My brain imagines detailed background stories for the animals and then I worry about their futures.
How are they feeling when people keep passing them by?
Do their little hearts break when they’re separated from their friends?
Do they have self-esteem issues because they’re not as young or as pretty as the other cats!?

A tiny child can be bawling its eyes out in front of my and I won’t bat an eyelid.
But you give me a cat with sad eyes and I’ll do anything to make it happy again.
I think it’s because they can’t understand what’s going on.
Like when we had to give our own cats away and I couldn’t explain it was because we loved them so much we wanted the best for them.
All they saw was that we were heartlessly tearing them away from their happy home, shoving them in boxes and then handing them over to evil strangers!

I know I should stay away from animal shelters.
But my will power is non-existent and generally, I’m excellent at manipulating myself into doing things I shouldn’t.

The bottom line?
Don’t be surprised if I post a picture in the coming weeks of my in our sitting-room surrounded by at least 20 shelter-cats….
*sigh*

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15 Comments

Filed under Daily Update.

15 responses to “When my heart rules my head

  1. Awh. I know exactly what you mean… I would love to adopt an old fat pudgy cat that everyone passes by in favour of kittens… I feel so sorry for all those poor animals in shelters – they need to be loved. So sad.
    x

  2. theboy

    I’ll get onto the bank tomorrow for the mortgage approval 🙂

  3. noooo they made profile’s, I can not handle this too cute!

  4. TokikiDublin

    I’m also a sucker for the rejects. We went to the DSPCA in the summer of 2008 for a kitten and ended up taking home a 3 year old skinny, balding, shivering mess with 3 legs. He plumped up in no time, his sparse, stubby fur turned into the thickest, softest coat I have ever felt, and he turned out to be the most affectionate snuggle bug you could ever meet.

    A diamond in the rough… rejects rule!

    Hope you get some new babies soon! 🙂

  5. I have 4; 2 white & 2 ginger, one of which is pregnant. Gimme your address 😉

  6. Eek works for the DSPCA actually. That’s where she got Emily 😀

  7. Jules

    aww i know what you mean…!
    i’m fed up of cats now but I’d love to adopt a scottie dog (i’m scared of dogs bigger than a cat & I also dislike chihuahuas…) *sigh*

    • And also because of your Scotland obsession 😛

      • Jules

        HA! but I’ve always liked scottie dogs (since I was at school) and have always hated big dogs, hence why I never go down to my Aunt’s house in Cornwall… (she owns a big dog who seems to yap at me all the time FOR NO APPARENT REASON – and I ignore the damned thing!!!) *grrrrrr*

  8. I know what you mean! This is why I no longer look on the Humane Society website, because all the doggies look so cute and sad, and I end up wanting all of them.

  9. Aww ’twas sad when you gave away your babies. 😦
    Keep your head up for a bigger place. That’s what the boyfriend and I are trying to do. We can’t get pets in our tiny place, too. In fact, we already have a name for a cat we have yet to get. Haha

  10. The ASPCA near our house is so pretty and wonderful that it’s really hard for me to stay away. I’ve always been more of a dog person, but they have these cat rooms at the ASPCA with 8 or so cats in them and toys and beds and wonderfully-constructed things that cats love and can climb on and whenever I’m in a bad mood, I go to the cat rooms and just sit and play with the cats. They’re not sad because it’s a no kill shelter and because they have so many toys and for some reason, being around all those homeless cats, always gives me hope because I know, no matter what, at some point someone is going to come in and give them a happy home. But if wasn’t no kill? Oy. I’d probably be a crazy cat lady by down with 10s of cats trolling around the place.

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