I am very much not in possession of a good mood today folks.
I normally refrain from telling you the bad things The Boy does, so you can continue to think of him as a sweet, entertaining person and be green with envy at our perfect relationship.
(oh and in respect of his privacy, human rights, blah, blah, blah)
But right now I’m contemplating smushing the Toblerone Cheesecake I was planning on making him for our Valentine’s Weekend into his face and I need to get stuff off my chest.
Feel free to read on if you want to cyber-listen to my moaning…
Long story short, even though I don’t agree with presents and giant bouquets of ugly flowers for Valentine’s Day, I do like making a big effort and doing something nice and special.
He planned nothing.
I said it to him last weekend to give him a head’s up.
Tuesday night, still nothing.
I suggested something and he said he’d just go with my plan.
I thought maybe he was planning his own surprise and was trying to throw me off the scent and then found out last night that, nope, he really was just going to do the easiest thing possible and not bother to come up with something special himself.
I always make a big effort when it comes to special occasions.
I once sneaked a rabbit into a house for a friend’s birthday after her old pet died.
During college, I organised a stealth surprise awards ceremony during our annual Drama awards ceremony for that year’s Drama Committee (stressful and time-consuming to plan, but worth it).
But I’m always the one that makes a big effort and I very rarely get anything close to that effort back from the people in my life.
I thought The Boy was different.
For mine and his first Valentine’s Day, he was a poor college student and I had a good job, so I made up an elaborate lie about a friend’s birthday meal he had to go to in Wexford, and then surprised him with a night in a very fancy hotel and a huge meal in an amazing restaurant, which I’d picked out after weeks of research.
Oh and you guys remember the Football Trip to Manchester, Extra Pressies, Decorations, Giant Cake and Apartment Filled with Balloons story.
That was just for ONE BIRTHDAY!
It was only his 24th!
I just never thought he’d put me in the position of being The Giver.
I always thought it would be fair.
It’s not even remotely about money or the amount of things.
It’s about the effort and knowing that someone loves you THAT much that they’d work so hard to create something amazing for you.
For me, nothing is too much effort, I can never look TOO stupid and no obstacle can’t be overcome when I’ve set my mind on treating and surprising someone.
Is it so terrible that I just want a big deal made of me for once?
2010 was easily the worst year of my life – so many unbelievably awful things happened – which he knows full well.
I’m going through some hospital stuff right now, which he also obviously knows.
I’m pulling my hair out trying to juggle financial stuff after losing money in my monthly pay packet.
I just wanted to be made a fuss of and be able forget all the crap for a day.
I should say that he is nice during the year (he’s far from being World’s Worst Boyfriend) and is always on hand to make me tea and will bring me home mini presents like a chocolate bar or something and even though they’re normally things I don’t like, hey at least he thought about me.
But I’m always doing nice things for him too and then when it comes to the Occasions, I up my game.
He, on the other hand, doesn’t make the extra effort.
It shouldn’t be an ‘effort’ though.
It should be something he wants to do.
Maybe I’m expecting too much.
Making as much as an effort as I usually do doesn’t really seem to be the norm.
So no photos for you guys today.
I’m too sad and hurt and annoyed about what he did and the fact he hasn’t bothered to text since he left the apartment this morning at 6:55am even though the whole argument was his fault.
I want you all to suffer, because misery loves company.