A not-so-Fantabulous Foto Friday

I am very much not in possession of a good mood today folks.
I normally refrain from telling you the bad things The Boy does, so you can continue to think of him as a sweet, entertaining person and be green with envy at our perfect relationship.
(oh and in respect of his privacy, human rights, blah, blah, blah)
But right now I’m contemplating smushing the Toblerone Cheesecake I was planning on making him for our Valentine’s Weekend into his face and I need to get stuff off my chest.

Feel free to read on if you want to cyber-listen to my moaning…

Long story short, even though I don’t agree with presents and giant bouquets of ugly flowers for Valentine’s Day, I do like making a big effort and doing something nice and special.
He planned nothing.
I said it to him last weekend to give him a head’s up.
Tuesday night, still nothing.
I suggested something and he said he’d just go with my plan.
I thought maybe he was planning his own surprise and was trying to throw me off the scent and then found out last night that, nope, he really was just going to do the easiest thing possible and not bother to come up with something special himself.

I always make a big effort when it comes to special occasions.
I once sneaked a rabbit into a house for a friend’s birthday after her old pet died.
During college, I organised a stealth surprise awards ceremony during our annual Drama awards ceremony for that year’s Drama Committee (stressful and time-consuming to plan, but worth it).
But I’m always the one that makes a big effort and I very rarely get anything close to that effort back from the people in my life.
I thought The Boy was different.

For mine and his first Valentine’s Day, he was a poor college student and I had a good job, so I made up an elaborate lie about a friend’s birthday meal he had to go to in Wexford, and then surprised him with a night in a very fancy hotel and a huge meal in an amazing restaurant, which I’d picked out after weeks of research.

Oh and you guys remember the Football Trip to Manchester, Extra Pressies, Decorations, Giant Cake and Apartment Filled with Balloons story.
That was just for ONE BIRTHDAY!
It was only his 24th!
I just never thought he’d put me in the position of being The Giver.
I always thought it would be fair.

It’s not even remotely about money or the amount of things.
It’s about the effort and knowing that someone loves you THAT much that they’d work so hard to create something amazing for you.
For me, nothing is too much effort, I can never look TOO stupid and no obstacle can’t be overcome when I’ve set my mind on treating and surprising someone.

Is it so terrible that I just want a big deal made of me for once?

2010 was easily the worst year of my life – so many unbelievably awful things happened – which he knows full well.
I’m going through some hospital stuff right now, which he also obviously knows.
I’m pulling my hair out trying to juggle financial stuff after losing money in my monthly pay packet.
I just wanted to be made a fuss of and be able forget all the crap for a day.

I should say that he is nice during the year (he’s far from being World’s Worst Boyfriend) and is always on hand to make me tea and will bring me home mini presents like a chocolate bar or something and even though they’re normally things I don’t like, hey at least he thought about me.
But I’m always doing nice things for him too and then when it comes to the Occasions, I up my game.
He, on the other hand, doesn’t make the extra effort.
It shouldn’t be an ‘effort’ though.
It should be something he wants to do.
Maybe I’m expecting too much.
Making as much as an effort as I usually do doesn’t really seem to be the norm.

So no photos for you guys today.
I’m too sad and hurt and annoyed about what he did and the fact he hasn’t bothered to text since he left the apartment this morning at 6:55am even though the whole argument was his fault.
I want you all to suffer, because misery loves company.


Filed under Daily Update.

20 responses to “A not-so-Fantabulous Foto Friday

  1. Ach Hermia 😦 There’s nowt I can say really.

  2. Here’s a giant, big, virtual hug!

  3. Wish I had something inspirational to say… but I don’t. Everything is a cliché in these situations!

    Maybe watch the cute French kid and cheer up? Croc-o-deeeeeel! 🙂 Feel better love x

  4. Come to our Anti-Valentines night instead! 😛
    I understand though. It’s not a nice feeling hopefully he’ll come through with something lovely on Monday xx

  5. That really sucks. Maybe he’ll learn from it and know to make a bigger deal next year. Reminds me of the Christmas my mam got my dad a new phone, and he got her a blender. That was an awkward day…

    Also, had forgotten about that Drama Committee surprise thing. That was really awesome. My Mr. Potato Head is staring at me right now from on top of my DVDs, with his steely spiderman gaze.

  6. burpingbutterfly

    Oh here’s something to make you feel better. My boyfriend tells me “I’m not up to do anything this year. You go ahead make plans with your friends and I won’t hold it against you.” He has a lot of shit going on with his family which I get. I’m not asking you to spend the entire day with me. I’m not asking for expensive presents. I’m not asking to be swept off my feet. I’m not asking for anything remotely fancy! But surely….surely, we could do a quiet dinner together??! And yeah HE won’t hold it against ME! Wtf?! Ah that felt good to get out. Haha.

  7. Angela

    Awwww maaaan. Let it out, girl! Hope things go well for you.

  8. I don’t really register Valentines day. I’m not in any of the three camps that adore it, hate it or adore it but pretend to hate it. I just don’t see it as an extra day, hassle or opportunity. I probably speak for a grand total of one here. And I can’t speak for The Boy, but I’d say give him a chance and wait – it’s not Valentine’s day yet after all, maybe something special is happening and he’s quintuple-bluffing? I think (hope) no man on the planet is stupid enough to neglect his girl on Valentine’s day, whichever camps he’s in and she’s (you’re) in.

    Three months ago, my football team was about to cease existing, I couldn’t write a song for love nor money and was threatened with being thrown out of college. Now, my team have beaten the Champions, I’ve been commissioned to write a tune for a new internet show and I earned results of (not telling!) in my degree that are good enough to get me postgrad entry. So chin up Hermia! There’s always room for optimism and with any luck, you’ll be happier soon (and it sounds like you’re due some luck). As for the hospital biz, you have my sympathies and I hope whatever’s ailing you gets the boot from your system Speedy Gonzalez-style.

    At the very least I hope this cheered you up a little.

    And if it didn’t, this should: http://www.misternicehands.com/

    P.S.: For Valentine’s, I’m taking my missus on a date to a bookshop. That’s romantic, right?

  9. Eve

    I know what you mean and really it is not horrible for you to want something for yourself. If I lived anywhere near Ireland I would throw you the biggest party ever, with cakes and chocolate and flowers and many more delicious foods which, for some reason, have slipped my mind. Perhaps he’s being super secretive and sneaky…. well maybe not. But you never know right?
    Well you have a big hug from me.

  10. Aw Hermia. I’m with the others on this, maybe it’s all an elaborate ruse? Although even if it isn’t he’ll surely know not to make the same mistake again. Hugs. xx

  11. Awh 😦
    Feel better ❤

  12. I’m the same way! I can’t really think of puppy and rainbows when I’m mad. You always keep it real.

  13. Theres still loads of time for him to do something – especially if hes read this 🙂

  14. aw this made my heart ache
    hope things are looking up for ya…

  15. I’m in the elaborate quintuple bluff camp here. Valentine’s Day might be a bit of a jip, but who would dare to ignore such an occasion???

    That being said, I was given a Jack Daniels and Coke for Valentine’s last year. No joke.

  16. Jules

    aww hermia!! *hugs* I’m sure that in some shape or form he would of surprised you this weekend (or tomorrow!), boys can be so fickle sometimes! x

  17. As Jon Bon Jovi says “Keep the faith” 😉 There’s still time yet, he may have a surprise in store….

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