I was standing at the bus stop freezing my ass off this morning when a rather familiar young chap appeared at the other side of the commuter group.
Hmmmm….where did I know him from?
He glanced in my direction, caught my eye and looked away immediately, looking uncomfortable.
Jesus, he’s obviously not pleased to see me.
That really didn’t narrow it down.
Who the hell IS he!?
Eventually I remembered that he used to work a couple of shops down from Lentra.
Cue the lightbulbs and falling pennies.
Now I know why he’s not pleased to see me….
See, I attract weirdos.
I always have and probably always will.
I think it’s because I’m so socially awkward and uncomfortable when I meet new people that I willingly latch on to anyone remotely friendly (weirdos are normally over-eager to make conversation) and then the connection has been made before I realise that I’m about to befriend someone who probably has a creepy doll collection and dresses up as his mother.
At that stage it’s impossible to shake them.
This particular day he came in acting stranger than usual.
Mayo Boy: Can I get a *insert ingredients here* roll
Me: Sure. Do you want butter or mayo?
Mayo Boy: URGH! NO! Not mayo!! Just butter! Not mayo!
Me: Eh…ok…no mayo then.
Mayo Boy: Mayo is TERRIBLE.
Me: *shrugs shoulders* Well I like it.
Mayo Boy: You shouldn’t eat it. Mayonnaise makes you die.
Me: *pauses* Excuse me?
Mayo Boy: It makes you die.
Me: Eh…right…but not really.
Mayo Boy: No, it does. It makes you die.
*awkward silence ensues*
Me: Well here’s your roll.
Mayo Boy: Can I get your number?
Me: *looks around in a panicked manner, partly hoping no one heard that, partly hoping someone would rescue me*
Mayo Boy: *looks painfully hopeful*
Mayo Boy: Oh…why?
Me: *can’t believe he’s asking that question* I have a boyfriend.
Mayo Boy: Oh.
Mayo Boy: *continues to stand there making eye contact*
Me: *wondering if he’s attempting Jedi mind control* Well, I’ve got to go do stuff in the back room.
Mayo Boy: Ok. *walks off slowly*
Boy (now known as The Boy): *appearing from nowhere* Why is your face so red? What happened? Did something happen with X?
After forcing me to tell him by applying the art of merciless pestering, Boy then proceeded to vandalise my Bebo page with drawings of the event…
And that is how Mayo Boy got the name ‘Mayo Boy’.
EDIT: Some genius readers suggested posting the drawing The Boy did, which is obviously an AMAZING idea, making me an idiot for not thinking of it. However, The Boy thought he was really cool and deleted his Bebo account a couple of years ago and when he did that, all the comments he left and pictures he did were also deleted, so I don’t have them anymore!
I will see if I can persuade him to recreate one of them tonight though!