One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook would’ve seen the following this morning:

Some of you were lovely and sent supportive messages.
The rest of you who abandoned me in a moment of need(iness) will be shunned for an entire hour….starting now.

Obviously you’re all wondering why I’m putting myself through these horrors.
Why is Hermia – consumer of all things full-fat and flavoursome, worshipper of Lyons Tea, scorner of the healthy-eaters and veg-heads – eating that healthy crap and currently drinking a cup of peppermint tea (that tastes like ass, btw)?
Because Hermia’s bad luck gets a little worse every day.

Last year I went to the doctor with horrible stomach pains.
(REALLY horrible….I’m no wimp, me!)
After the oul fossil spent ten minutes asking me is I was SURE I wasn’t pregnant, she eventually concluded it could be an ulcer….or something.
She gave me some tablets that were supposed to relax my insides.

A few months later it kicked off again.
The next doctor told me it might be some small gastric infection.
It might also have been something stress-related.
He gave be some tablets, told me not to get too stressed and sent me on my way.

Back in September, I went to see the doctor again.
Oh uhm…yeah, this time it’s probably really stress-related.
“Doctor, is there anyway it could be something else like IBS or something because it does happen when I’m not stressed?”
Oh uhm, maybe….but he was going to say stress for now.
More tablets (that didn’t even help a little) and I was kicked out of the office.

The last month has seen me in terrible pain with a horrible bloated stomach and messed up insides.
This time I was taking matters into my own hands.
I turned to The Internet.
The initial investigation didn’t go too well:
Eventually I had it narrowed down to IBS, Coeliac’s Disease or a Lactose Intolerance, just judging by the fact I’d been eating a lot of wheat and dairy products recently.

I went to the pharmacy to have a nice public chat with a 30-something awkwardly-cute pharmacist about my bowel movements.
Yes there was a nice private room a couple of feet away, but he obviously thought it was way more fun to discuss this in front of the oul wan buying her cotton swabs and the teenager working behind the counter.
He agreed with my IBS guess and suggested that it was caused by an gluten and/or dairy intolerance.

So now I’ve to seriously reduce my wheat intake, as well as dairy.
And take over-the-counter tablets that haven’t started working yet.
And drink peppermint tea to soothe my spazzy intestine.
I know it could be worse, but this is a little like a death sentence to someone who loves food as much as I do.
Bread and pasta and dairy products….they make my life worth living!
So now I am sulking.
Good day to you all.


Filed under Daily Update.

21 responses to “One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well

  1. Oh no. IBS is horrible. Join me in the land of no-dairy-where-possible 😦

    Hope it starts to make you feel better though

  2. Yeah, can’t say I’m best pleased at the moment. Although the food restrictions go out the window for the IBA Weekend….YAY! I’m such a rebel 😀

  3. oh no herms! I too can’t have too much dairy (however I despise soya/rice/oat milk, so disgusting – so I have milk still but only have about 20mls a day), and can only have cheese in small doses (but I can eat as much goats cheese as I like!). However I do feel for you for not having any wheat/pasta… 😦 I can say, however that some of the gluten-free foods are pretty tasty! (and dairy-free chocolate = nom nom!) 🙂

    oh and let yourself have a regular cup of tea everyday, it is good for you no matter what crap you read online! 😀


  4. IBS is an awful pain in the ‘you know where’ literally. You just need to figure out your triggers and give yourself time to let everything settle down and get back to normal.


  5. awww… soya milk? ick, that is not milk 😦
    i love my dairy and my mum’s demanding that i cut back on it. something she heard on the radio, but they say something different every week!

  6. Oh dear 😦 I get pretty bloated and sluggish from bread/pasta but no IBS thankfully. You’ll feel so much better for it though. PLUS, try drinking green tea for a week or two – EUGH!! Then, when you go back to peppermint, you’ll not hate it as much as the green stuff. That’s what I found anyway!

  7. Oh poor Herms! I too had similar problems and spent ten unsuccessful years trying to work out my problem. Turned out I had candida related complex. I finally found out by doing a simple spit test. You can do this at home and it costs nothing so I think you should give it a try. Here is a link to my blog, I describe how to do it:
    I really hope you don’t have candida, cause trust me the diet is a lot tougher than giving up wheat and dairy, but 3 months into it and I’m feeling great. Hope you find a cure =)

  8. Weird! I’m exactly the same! Woke up one night this week with a severe pain in my tummy too! Had to go to the doctor at like 4.30 in the morning!! He told me that my colon was in spasm and diagnosed me with a (ahem) spastic colon! That’s a mean way of saying IBS but I’m in the same position now, drink lots of peppermint tea, no potatoes, white bread or pasta and I have to limit my dairy intake!! I love my food just as much as you do I’d say so this is heartbreaking for me..I hate the taste of soya! If you do ever get pain again though ask your pharmacist for Colofac! (I’m not a drug pusher I swear!) It’s not on prescription but they keep it behind the counter! Works wonders! Hopefully you’ll start to feel better soon! 🙂

    • I was given Colofac about a year ago when they thought it was something else and it was brilliant, but when I tried to get it the other day the pharmacist told me it was just on prescription in their store 😦

  9. A gluten free diet is not totally awful, I promise! I was diagnosed during 6th year which was a lot of fun *ahem* but other than that it’s very easy to get used to. I feel for you about the dairy though, and I say that while I sit here and eat a bar of Dairy Milk…I apologise 😦

  10. I feel sorry for you. I love me some wheat-y carbs. Maybe I could eat your share too…? : D

    And internet self diagnosis is a ‘mare! Well, if you actually want to know what’s wrong with you. If you want to diagnose yourself with anything going then the internet works quite well – it’s a fun game! : )

    Kate x

  11. I understand that a lot of gluten and dairy intolerances are temporary and can be cured by going cold turkey for a couple of weeks (no cheating!), so don’t rule out your long-term prospects of gorging yourself on chocolate croissants, though you may have to wait until a bit after Easter…

  12. Cli

    I have a few vegan friends who avoid dairy too, which makes my baking habit a little trickier. This might cheer you up a bit in your time of need, seriously sticky and good and none of the things you’re supposed to be avoiding. You can grate in bits of lemon rind or ginger, or add broken pieces of your favourite nuts to give it a more knobbly texture.

    Little Sticky Lemon Cakes
    • 6oz/200g./1 and a half cups of self raising flour
    • 4oz./125g./half cup caster sugar
    • 1 teaspoon raising agent
    • juice and rind of 1 lemon
    • half a cup of sunflower oil
    • 1 cup of soya milk (water or rice milk can be used instead)
    • dash of vinegar
    • half a cup of white icing sugar and a little boiled water, still hot

    • paper cake cases (will make 12-20 depending on the size of case)
    Mix the flour, sugar and raising agent together then add the oil, lemon juice, rind and soya milk and mix well. Add the vinegar and stir. Divide the mixture between the cake cases (a couple of dessert spoons of mixture in each one) and bake for 15-20 minutes at 200C/400F. To make the icing: sift the icing sugar and add a small amount of very hot water and stir well. Start with a teaspoon full and keep adding and stirring until you get a gooey, spreadable icing. Once the cakes have cooled spread a little icing on each one and leave to set. Alternatively you can bake it as a large lemon cake (increase cooking time accordingly).

    You can also use gluten-free flour to avoid wheat.

  13. Hi
    Did you say you ate rice kris pies for brekkie and thought they were healthy? They are probably the worst thing you can put in your body! Sugar air and wheat.
    Try oT flakes, much easier on your stomach.

  14. if u like sweetness try almond milk. it is sweet and delish. unreal. x

  15. my best friend got the same thing laste year-luckily we soon discovered gourmet burger do gluten free burger buns! there’s some hope:) x

  16. Oh no pasta would kill me. I love veggies and healthy foods but pasta is also a mandatory part of my diet. I hope you figure out exactly what the culprit is and get resume eating more delicious things soon!

  17. That really sucks, but your health is the most important even if you have to eat cardboard.

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