Tag Archives: Diary

Checking In

God, I miss blogging.
And talking about myself.
And actually having a reason to write.
But most of all, I miss YOU LOT!

It’s been tough getting through the last few weeks without your support and encouragement.
Thankfully some of you offer it up to snappy moans on Facebook  and Twitter, and even better, some of you have become parts of ‘real’ life and offer it in person.
But I still miss the interaction here.

Anyway!
Unfortunately I still don’t have internet at home, so I’m not actually back.
Instead, I’m sitting at a computer in the office an hour after I finished trying to get my fix.
My internet provider – UPC – are…well I can’t say, because I’m trying to be dignified and ladylike, a la Audrey or Grace.
When really I feel like pulling a Bette and going postal.
They’re screwing me over basically.
Charging me for a service they ARE NOT PROVIDING and then charging me a colossal fee for cancelling my contract with them BECAUSE they are not providing me with the service I’m paying for.
Tossers.

If all goes according to plan, I’ll be moving out of that hell-hole-of-a-house-I-now-live-in in the next couple of weeks and will get my internet from a company that will actually let me have it.
Also, it now occurs to me that most of you have NO idea what I’m referring to my current residence as “that hell-hole-of-a-house-I-now-live-in” because I haven’t been able to tell you ALL THE HORRORS I’VE ENDURED.
Yes, I know I was swooning about the place a few months ago, but that was before I became a lonely old spinster and had to fend for myself.
Here’s a fun fact: lonely old spinsters are ABUSED by the world.

I will tell you tales of evil landlords, vile housemates, dirt-encrusted abodes and other such horros.
But not in this post.
Because it’s already quite long and I have to ease you back into this labour of love that is called “Putting Aside An Hour Of My Day To Read Hermia’s Posts”.

Do you know what’s strange? Actually being called Hermia in real life. Seriously…it’s bizarre…but lovely…but bizarre.

So I’ll end this and will begin another post and you’ll have at least two posts to keep you company over the next 2 weeks.

A bientot!

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Filed under Daily Update.

The Diary of a Pre-Teen -Part 7

I’m afraid this is the last Diary Entry, folks. In this installment, we see pre-teen Hermia battle with the traumas of emerging hormones and impending teenagedom. She also gives an insightful analysis of the Millenium.

Thursday 18th October 1999

Dear Diary,
So I think David and Clare are dating.
I saw them about 2 weeks ago. I got off the school bus at my stop and Clare got off as well even though it wasn’t her stop because she had seen David. So he was walking along where I was and I said Hi and Clare said she was going home and made to walk in the same direction as him, so I headed off. But as I turned around, I saw the two of them moving close together like they were in love.
I just want him to love me. I want him to put his arms around my waist, pull me close, tilt my chin up and kiss me. Then I’d be happy.
But it’s never going to happen.
So I’ll go,
Hermia.

Sunday 21st November

Dear Diary,
Penny got her period on Friday the 12th. I can’t help feeling a bit down. She’s already wearing a bra and I’m still in a vest. It’s really embarrassing in school when we’re changing for PE but I hide it, because if the girls ever found out I’d never live it down. I’m going to try and get one but I’ve nothing to put in it.
Oh yeah, I finished my book Behind You. It ended at 103 pages. I’m re-writing it now.
Alison is my best friend in school now.
Penny is still my best ever friend.
Gotta go,
Hermia

Saturday 1st January 2000

Can You Believe It Diary?
Today is the first day of the Millenium! At 12 o’clock we ran out onto the road. There were loads of fireworks and bright colours brightening up the dark, black sky and there were green firework fountains and exploding rockets everywhere! And people ran up and down the road wishing everyone a Happy New Millenium and drinking. It was great!
Christmas was good too. I got Penny a Steps tape and she got me a Celine Dion tape.
I don’t like David anymore. Well, it’s a New Year’s resolution. It’s getting ridiculous. I’m daydreaming about him and fantasising about him asking me out. It’s so stupid. It can’t be healthy. So that’s that, I guess.
My Celine Dion tape rocks. I’m listening to it right now.
Going now,
Hermia

And that’s all, Folks!


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The Diary of a Pre-Teen -Part 6

In this installment, we see pre-teen Hermia out of her innocent depths after starting secondary school. She also might be psychotically obsessed with David…again…

16th October 1999

Dear Diary,
I can’t remember the last time I wrote. I guess I’ve been busy with school. I’m really enjoying it. My favourite subjects so far are History with Ms Collis, Maths with Mrs King and Home Ec with Mrs Leahy. Here are the girls the girls I’ve made friends with: Annie, Helen, Laura, Lisa, Melanie and Alison. I hate Carol (who went to my primary school) cos she’s taking Annie away from me. She’s also taking Helen, but I don’t care about her because she’s a bitch. There’s this girl called Barbara who is disgusting. She asked me if I’d ever seen a guy’s “dick”, so I said yeah and she asked were and I said on TV and Helen and Carol started laughing. But I know Carol is a Frigite* so I don’t know why she was laughing. So then Barbara asks if I’m a Frigite and I say no and she asks how many guys I’ve met* and I said about 15 or 16. And Helen and Carol start laughing again and Helen says “I kiss more boys than that in a DAY”. Barbara said, “shut up at least she’s honest”. I haven’t kissed any boys before but I didn’t want to say because they already make fun of me for not knowing about that stuff and they’d never stop if they thought I was a Frigite.
I better go,
Hermia

17th October 1999

Dear Diary,
I love David with a passion.
I tried to like Simon, but I couldn’t stop like David. I wasn’t getting a response or vibe from David so I tried to stop, but I love him so badly. I couldn’t stand not liking him and I realised how much I loved him. I want to tell him. You’ve no idea how much I want to tell him. I love him more than I’ve ever loved anyone, even Tom from when I was 10. I just wish with all my heart that he’d love me even half as much as I heart him. But there’s one thing standing in the way…
Clare.
Me and Penny think they’ve started dating.
But I’m not sure yet.
Oh I have to go now,
Hermia

Dictionary:
Frigite=Dublin slang in the late nineties for a girl who was ‘frigid’, ie: hadn’t kissed a guy
Met=Dublin slang meaning ‘kissed’

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The Diary of a Pre-Teen -Part 5

I never said my life was interesting…

Monday 16th August 1999

Dear Diary,
“A friend in need is a friend indeed”. A well known phrase and I guess it is true. I mean me and Penny have both needed each other a lot this summer and we’re GREAT friends. This is the first summer I’ve been friends with her and it has been the best summer of my life.
Time to put the pen away,
Hermia

Tuesday 17th August 1999

Dear Diary,
I wonder when I’ll get a chest. I wonder if I’ll look OK with them.
Penny and I found this gold ball in the field today. We were really hyper cos we’d had Rocket Soda and Penny called it Pierre. We were bouncing it on the side of a house at the end of the road, but after 6 times it bounced into the house’s alley. Since no one was home, we tried to think of plans to get it back cos the owners had locked their alley gate. If we climbed the wall, we thought it might look like we were robbing the place, so we thought that if we got a long stick we could sweep the ball through the gaps in the gate but we couldn’t find a long enough stick.
Gotta go,
Hermia.
PS: Penny told me she’s not going to smoke anymore. Colette is smoking like a chimney. Almost 10 A DAY!!! I’m glad Penny has seen sense.

Sunday 22nd August 1999

Dear Diary,
Got my school coat yesterday. It’s nice. Can’t wait to start my new school.
Hermia


Index:
David (Boy I fancy)
Colette, Penny (best friends)
Ciara, Becs, Sharon (in our group)
Moany Granny (50-something-year-old that lived at the end of my road)

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The Diary of a Pre-Teen -Part 4

In today’s installment, Hermia nearly gets her ass kicked…

Tuesday 3rd August 1999

Dear Diary,
I got my secondary school uniform today. It’s nice. It’s not snot green anymore. It’s petrol blue now. I got the skirt, jumper, shirt, tie, socks, tracksuit and jacket. All I’ve to get now is my Home Economics book, shoes, runners and copies, pencils, etc.
Gotta go,
Hermia

Thursday 5th August 1999

Dear Diary,
I really though Ciara was decent. She went and told Becs everything I had said to her while me and Ciara were friends when she wasn’t talking to Becs. But I didn’t really say anything about her actually. Ciara was saying A LOT more things and they were way worse! I was just saying that Becs was mean when Ciara told me a story about something she did. So Becs accused me of trying to break up their friendship. This all happened on Tueday night, just 2minutes before I had to go home because I can only stay out until 9, so I told Becs I would talk to her on Wednesday. So I called for her on Wednesday, but she was out. I called for her today and she was out.
I cut my hand on a piece of beer can in the field yesterday when I was trying to do cartwheels.
Best be going,
Herms

Saturday 7th August 1999

Dear Diary,
Becs and Ciara were all up in my face today. They started all this me trying to break up their friendship. So in the end Becs comes up to me shaking her fat arse and flicking her greasy hair to try and impress David cos the group was there (he’s an ugly creep, I don’t know what I saw in him). Anyway she says “I know how to sort this out. Look Hermia, you’re just jealous of me and you’ve no real friends. I’ve loads of friends and you’re just jealous so you’re trying to break us up”. Then Ciara was told to fight me and she came up and started organising when we would fight and meanwhile she was winking at me to indicate she was just acting to shut everyone up.
I better go,
Hermia

Index:
David (Boy I fancy)
Colette, Penny (best friends)
Ciara, Becs, Sharon (in our group)
Moany Granny (50-something-year-old that lived at the end of my road)

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The Diary of a Pre-Teen -Part 3

In this installment, Hermia has to deal with the politics of pre-teen friendships…

Saturday 24th July

Dear Diary,
Moany Granny hasn’t said anything yet, but that doesn’t mean she won’t. Colette and Penny have started smoking. They had one each the other day. I wasn’t there tho. I don’t want anything to do with that. I think it’s gross.
See ya,
Hermia

Sunday 25th July

Dear Diary,
I feel so stupid, angry and embarrassed. You see today I called for Penny before mass and she told me to call back at 2 o’clock. So at about 1 o’clock, Mam came back from the shop and told me she’d seen Chipped Teeth and Spineless (Colette has weird teeth and Penny has no backbone and never stands up to Colette) together. So they never called for me, but I called for Spineless at 2 like I said I would cos I was being a good friend and her sister told me she was out. I honestly thought Penny would stick by me and I thought we were real friends. I hope a flock of birds poop on their heads. I hate them. They’re probably laughing and talking about me behind my back.
Gotta go,
Hermia

Monday26th July

Dear Diary,
Chompers and Spineless arrived to call for me just as I finished writing in my diary yesterday and told me they’d just been in The Square. I was right. They ditched me cos mam and dad won’t let me go cos they say it’s too far away which it isn’t and everyone else can go. And Colette had to go home 10MINUTES after they called for me. And in a sneaky way they said they only called for me cos they had nothing else to do.
Me and Mam had a big fight today because I said she always gave Lil Bro his own way and I always have to do whatever he wants and I never get my way. She called me selfish but it’s true. He always wants what I have and if I say no I get into trouble. I feel like Anne Frank. She had an older sister who was alwas getting the most attention and mine and Anne’s parents both made us do things to please Margot (Anne’s sister) and Lil Bro.
Time for Bed,
Hermia

Index:
David (Boy I fancy)
Colette, Penny (best friends)
Ciara, Becs, Sharon (in our group)
Moany Granny (50-something-year-old that lived at the end of my road)

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The Diary of a Pre-Teen -Part 2

In today’s installment, you will hear the wonderfully exciting scandal from my pre-primary world…and also some mortifying declarations of devotion…

Thursday 8th July 1999

Diary,
Here, listen to this. Ciara’s parents had gone out and her little sister was going out to the garden to play with her friend. Ciara asked her to tell Becs not to call in for Ciara because she was going for a sleep. So her sister told Becs, but Becs called in for Ciara anyway and woke her up. So Ciara brought her in anyway but fell asleep on the couch in the middle of the conversation. A while later she was woken up by someone messing around in her room. She was terrified cos she thought the house was being burgled. So she crept upstairs and looked into her room and saw Becs rooting thru her JEWELLERY BOX!! So Ciara started cursing at her and threw her out. Can you believe her?
So long,
Hermia

Friday 9th July 1999

Dear Diary,
My end of year phots were wrecked. The negatives were spoilt. Pity. Colette and Penny never called in for me today. I get the feeling Penny’s trying to get Colette as her best friend and Penny seems to want to get rid of me.
I want David. I fancy David. He’s so very very hot!!!!
That’s all today,
Hermia

Saturday 17th July 1999

Dear Diary,
Listen to this. There’s this woman on the corner of my road and we were sitting on her wall and she came out and gave out to us a few days ago. So we (Penny and I) climbed thru the big hedge at the side of her garden and messed with some of the round stones in her garden and arranged them into arrows. Then today, Colette was with us and she wanted to do it as well, so we messed up the stones and the old lady (we’re calling her Moany Granny)came out and said she had seen us and if we did it again, she’d call the police. Stupid or what?
Gotta go,
Hermia


Index:
David (Boy I fancy)
Colette, Penny (best friends)
Ciara, Becs, Sharon (in our group)
Moany Granny (50-something-year-old that lived at the end of my road)

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Filed under Diary of a Pre-Teen