Tag Archives: Life

Checking In

God, I miss blogging.
And talking about myself.
And actually having a reason to write.
But most of all, I miss YOU LOT!

It’s been tough getting through the last few weeks without your support and encouragement.
Thankfully some of you offer it up to snappy moans on Facebook  and Twitter, and even better, some of you have become parts of ‘real’ life and offer it in person.
But I still miss the interaction here.

Unfortunately I still don’t have internet at home, so I’m not actually back.
Instead, I’m sitting at a computer in the office an hour after I finished trying to get my fix.
My internet provider – UPC – are…well I can’t say, because I’m trying to be dignified and ladylike, a la Audrey or Grace.
When really I feel like pulling a Bette and going postal.
They’re screwing me over basically.
Charging me for a service they ARE NOT PROVIDING and then charging me a colossal fee for cancelling my contract with them BECAUSE they are not providing me with the service I’m paying for.

If all goes according to plan, I’ll be moving out of that hell-hole-of-a-house-I-now-live-in in the next couple of weeks and will get my internet from a company that will actually let me have it.
Also, it now occurs to me that most of you have NO idea what I’m referring to my current residence as “that hell-hole-of-a-house-I-now-live-in” because I haven’t been able to tell you ALL THE HORRORS I’VE ENDURED.
Yes, I know I was swooning about the place a few months ago, but that was before I became a lonely old spinster and had to fend for myself.
Here’s a fun fact: lonely old spinsters are ABUSED by the world.

I will tell you tales of evil landlords, vile housemates, dirt-encrusted abodes and other such horros.
But not in this post.
Because it’s already quite long and I have to ease you back into this labour of love that is called “Putting Aside An Hour Of My Day To Read Hermia’s Posts”.

Do you know what’s strange? Actually being called Hermia in real life. Seriously…it’s bizarre…but lovely…but bizarre.

So I’ll end this and will begin another post and you’ll have at least two posts to keep you company over the next 2 weeks.

A bientot!


Filed under Daily Update.

Paper Weight

Yesterday I bought toilet paper.

In the grand scheme of things, it mightn’t seem like something worth reporting, but I felt it was a turning point.
It ran out about three weeks ago.
For the first while, it wasn’t a problem, I simply put a box of tissues I had lying around into the bathroom and went about my business (no pun intended).
About a week after that, the tissues ran out.

Grocery shopping and general life functioning has been a little beyond me in recent times (see previous post), so it wasn’t a simple matter of going to the supermarket.
The problem needed to be fixed with as little movement on my part as possible.

So I turned to my freakishly large stash of kitchen paper and placed a roll of it in the bathroom.

I don’t know if many of you have used kitchen towel in this manner, but it’s not the softest substance out there.
However I stubbornly continued to use it rather than go to the effort popping out to the shop to get quilted-heaven or even making a note of it to be remembered the next time I left the house.

Yesterday though, in a spacey moment where I zoned out and forgot to take the turn into my still-kinda-new abode, I found myself heading towards the local shop.
I didn’t freak out at the realisation of what I was about to do.
The horror of responsible shopping disappeared and a calm settled over me.
I went into the shop and bought a four-pack of Cushelle toilet paper.
And also bread rolls because I now needed to rebel against something …in this case, my gluten intolerance.
Screw you, Intestines *shakes fist*

I walked home with the smug satisfaction of a grown-up.
That’s right, people, I’m going to use actual toilet paper and it’s not even that cheap stuff -it’s quilted, oooooooo
I dropped my bags and coat in the sitting room and ran up the stairs to the bathroom.
Locking the door, I walked towards the toilet…and realised I’d left the toilet paper downstairs.
I paused for a second and contemplated.
I’d gone to the effort of buying it, so why stop there? I should go down and get it.
But…it was all the way out the door and down the stairs…

And so I used the kitchen towel yet again and the toilet paper is still sitting in that bag in my sitting room waiting to make its way up the stairs.

Baby steps, eh?


Filed under Daily Update.

Musing at the Diner

Sitting in the same area of the same Eddie Rockets that we conducted the first two years of our relationship, I didn’t know what to feel.

“So what happened with you two, or am I allowed to ask?”
It wasn’t the first time I’d been asked and it wasn’t the first time I had to shrug my shoulders and have a quick think about it.
And even with all those opportunities, I was yet to come up with a satisfying answer.

“I dunno,” I told Sinead honestly. “It just wasn’t right anymore.”

We chatted about other long-term couples that had broken up in recent times.
It was the same formula: couple got together during college, stayed together for years, many lived together, everyone thought they’d be together forever and then BAM they were no more.

“I think it’s just the way it is now,” I mused over a chocolate malt. “I mean, years ago people did their Personal Growth thing during the last years of secondary school and in the couple of years afterwards so they had it together by the age of 20. But now, we don’t start until after college and those few years are supposed to be the time you sort yourself out, find out who you are and become comfortable with that. I did my growing as part of a relationship. Most people that do that grow into One Half of a Relationship and not into a person.”

“I know it sounds very American and cringe-worthily clichéd, but I feel like I need to ‘find myself’,” I said. “I’m not sure who I am or what I can handle or even what I want right now. I’m completely different from the Me in my final year in college.”

Sinead nodded her agreement. “You just need to live life a bit and have some fun!”

After a chat about general Life Stuff, I said: “Isn’t it crazy to think back to that summer in the shop five years ago when we had The Plan?”
“Oh God yeah,” said Sinead.
“The guy I liked was away for the summer and you had just met yours and we made a pact to win their hearts. And we did,” I added somewhat triumphantly. “And since then my whole life plan has changed so many times, I’ve had a few other boyfriends and a ridiculously long relationship with a boy I lived with, and now I’ve no idea what I want to do with my life. You also broke up with your guy and you’ve been around the world and you’re moving to Australia next week.”

It was head-spinning to think about all that had changed and how it seemed that all the work I’d put into life over the last few years had been erased and I was starting again.
Out on my own.

“On the plus side,” I said as an after thought, “my conversation topics are far more exciting as a single person than they were as the Long Time Relationship Girl. It’s nice to know there’s a silver lining.”


Filed under Daily Update.

I am only halfway through my uber-busy month…

…and I’m already seventy-billion hours behind my ‘Hours of Sleep Needed to Function’ quota.
It’s been damned good fun though.


Filed under Daily Update.

One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well

Those of you who follow me on Twitter or Facebook would’ve seen the following this morning:

Some of you were lovely and sent supportive messages.
The rest of you who abandoned me in a moment of need(iness) will be shunned for an entire hour….starting now.

Obviously you’re all wondering why I’m putting myself through these horrors.
Why is Hermia – consumer of all things full-fat and flavoursome, worshipper of Lyons Tea, scorner of the healthy-eaters and veg-heads – eating that healthy crap and currently drinking a cup of peppermint tea (that tastes like ass, btw)?
Because Hermia’s bad luck gets a little worse every day.

Last year I went to the doctor with horrible stomach pains.
(REALLY horrible….I’m no wimp, me!)
After the oul fossil spent ten minutes asking me is I was SURE I wasn’t pregnant, she eventually concluded it could be an ulcer….or something.
She gave me some tablets that were supposed to relax my insides.

A few months later it kicked off again.
The next doctor told me it might be some small gastric infection.
It might also have been something stress-related.
He gave be some tablets, told me not to get too stressed and sent me on my way.

Back in September, I went to see the doctor again.
Oh uhm…yeah, this time it’s probably really stress-related.
“Doctor, is there anyway it could be something else like IBS or something because it does happen when I’m not stressed?”
Oh uhm, maybe….but he was going to say stress for now.
More tablets (that didn’t even help a little) and I was kicked out of the office.

The last month has seen me in terrible pain with a horrible bloated stomach and messed up insides.
This time I was taking matters into my own hands.
I turned to The Internet.
The initial investigation didn’t go too well:
Eventually I had it narrowed down to IBS, Coeliac’s Disease or a Lactose Intolerance, just judging by the fact I’d been eating a lot of wheat and dairy products recently.

I went to the pharmacy to have a nice public chat with a 30-something awkwardly-cute pharmacist about my bowel movements.
Yes there was a nice private room a couple of feet away, but he obviously thought it was way more fun to discuss this in front of the oul wan buying her cotton swabs and the teenager working behind the counter.
He agreed with my IBS guess and suggested that it was caused by an gluten and/or dairy intolerance.

So now I’ve to seriously reduce my wheat intake, as well as dairy.
And take over-the-counter tablets that haven’t started working yet.
And drink peppermint tea to soothe my spazzy intestine.
I know it could be worse, but this is a little like a death sentence to someone who loves food as much as I do.
Bread and pasta and dairy products….they make my life worth living!
So now I am sulking.
Good day to you all.


Filed under Daily Update.


I have been working in offices since I was 20.
It was a bit of a shock after working at markets  and then in a shop for the seven years before that and took some getting used to.
The problem with working in an office is that you can’t get away from annoyances.
In another environment, you can move yourself to another area of the building and busy yourself with another activity, far away from whoever is annoying you.
Lately, a number of friends have been complaining about their office environments and the annoying habits of their co-workers, which has prompted me to create the following list:

Office Etiquette
compiled by Hermia and her office-working friends:

1. A bar of soap and some deodorant won’t break the bank. Invest in them.
Similarly, I don’t care how much YOU like that perfume that you BATHED in this morning, stop abusing it because I don’t want to spend the day choking on it. Remember, less is more.

2. If you eat at your desk, keep in mind that no one else wants to smell your latest frozen delight of fish and sewage. It can be forgiven if it only happens now and again, but not on a regular basis.

3. If someone is popping down to the shop for a snack and asks you if you want anything, they mean it along the lines of “Do you want me to grab you a bar/crisps/banana?”. This is not an invitation for you to dump your complicated sandwich order on them, forcing them to queue forever at the deli counter.

4. Just because a co-worker comes into your office to say something to whoever shares the room with you, it doesn’t mean you’re allowed to sit there listening in on everything that’s being said. It mightn’t be super private, but it’s not being addressed to you. It’s also not socially acceptable to reference said conversation at a later time.

5. If someone is taking a phone call with a client, don’t make as much noise as you can in the background because it will be impossible for them to figure out what the client is trying to ask/tell them (working in a call centre was fun). Also, don’t listen in on the phone call, because it’s none of your business and if it is, you will be told…take your nosiness elsewhere.

6. Stealing food is not ok. It is NEVER ok. It’s even less ok in this beautiful recession where people now have to budget and plan out their week’s lunches. To you, it might just be a yoghurt, but to the person it belongs to, it’s leaving them short of food and possible costing them more money. Don’t be an asshole.

7. Don’t give people nicknames…actually that one applies to every job. As does ‘don’t leave poo floating in the work toilets for the next person to find’.

8. Don’t be a knuckle-cracker. The noise makes a lot of people want to vomit. If you really need to do it, take it outside

9. Don’t force the person you share a room to talk to you if they obviously don’t want to. Take the damn hint! (this was particularly bad in the call centre, because you didn’t have a designated seat and sometimes ended up sitting beside people you didn’t like or who were just too weird)..this one also applies to bus stops.

10. Don’t mess with another person’s desk. It’s just wrong to adjust the height of their chair or mess with their screens or move their papers and pens around, while you’re arsing around on their computers. A side-note to this rule is also not to root around on another person’s Facebook/Personal Email/etc if they’ve left themselves signed in on THEIR computer that YOU are violating.
Frape is hilarious if it’s your best mate, but messing around with a co-worker’s private sites is just unacceptable. Don’t be a dick.

To summarise, just don’t be a self-obsessed, rude, social-retarded jerk and you’ll be a lovely office person.

What do your co-workers do to annoy you…?

EDIT: I’d forgotten about this one:
11: Do not – I repeat, DO NOT – stare at your co-workers when they are eating!!!!!!!!!!!!


Filed under Daily Update., General Observations

A Couple-Off

Last week, The Boy and I returned to our old haunt, Eddie Rockets (fifties-style diner), where we used to spend most of our time before we lived together .

They were the gooey romantic days of our youth.
We’d spend hours talking and hand-holding over two pots of tea and a bowl of fries.
We’d gaze into each others eyes the whole time, of course and would be so desperate to be as close as possible to each other that one of us would have to move onto the same side of the table as the other so we could hug and kiss and gaze some more.
We had to make the most of those few hours a couple of times a week.

Dating for four years and living together for a year and a half changes things a little.
Ah yeah, we’re still in love and happy and blah blah blah, but at some stage, the hormones stop holding your brain cells prisoner and you realise you’re actually still two people and not one ‘couple’.
You realise you still have Life to attend to.
You also start to become aware of the other person’s faults and annoying habits and the gooey staring gets interrupted by bickering.
I guess you could say, you become a normal person again.
Only you’re a normal person in love.

So in Eddies that night, we sat there eating away in a comfortable silence.
As I people-watched,  I spotted a couple walk in.
They sat facing each other, never tearing their eyes away from the other half”s face.
“Newbies,” I thought to myself.

They held hands while they read their individual menus and then sat fawning all over each other.
“The Boy, come sit beside me,” I said, when our teas and his brownie arrived.
He obliged.
We squished together on the seat.
“Look at those two over there,” I said. “So young and in love. Probably together for about three months. It’s sickening. Is that what we were like?”
He laughed. “Probably.”

The Other Couple’s food arrived.
“Oh God…they’re sharing a plate of chicken tenders,” I said. I turned to The Boy, grasped his hand and gazed into his eyes: “I would never make you share your food with me!”
“I know you wouldn’t,” he said gratefully.

I watched them some more as I drank my tea.
“That is what we used to be like,” I said. “We’d spend hours in here all over each other, with nothing but chocolate malts and fries to keep us occupied. And now we’re ‘comfortable silence’ people. We know too much about each other, we’ve no stories left to tell,” I wailed
“Well that’s cos we’re old boring people now and you won’t let me tell you stories about my job,” he reasoned.
“All your stories about work are the same though! And I don’t bore you with stories about my job,” I said smiling sweetly.

They held hands again as soon as they finished their chicken.
“Urgh, they’re so trying to be the better couple,” I said. “Here, let me grope you…that’ll show them!”
The Boy just laughed.

The waitress brought The Other Couple more food.
“You know, I think that guy might be gay,” I said after a few minutes.
“And the girl hasn’t smiled once during the time she’s been here,” said The Boy.
That made me feel a little better, but I still felt a pang for the crazy hormonal “can’t take my eyes/hands/mind off you” days.
What if we fall out of love because we don’t have lust racing through our veins!!?

When we got up to the till to pay, The Boy told me to put my money away.
“You had a terrible day today,” he said. “I wanted to give you a little treat to make you feel better. This way you don’t have to cook and you don’t have to worry because you didn’t budget for this.”
I smiled.
That probably wouldn’t have occurred to the younger blinded-by-love version of The Boy.
I linked him as we walked back to our apartment.
A couple of years ago, I would’ve had to say goodbye to him at a freezing street corner at this point.
Now we were returning to our home

You can’t measure love in how physically wrapped around the other person you need to be to feel happy.
Yes it’s nice in the beginning, but you can’t go on that way forever: that’s just madness.
The real test is how well you do after that part fades away.
And so what if our brains can now function properly when we’re together!
We’re surviving through the good, the bad and the very bad times and we’re still together and still working for our future.
And at the end of the day, isn’t that a million times better than blinding and fickle lust?


Filed under Conversations with The Boy and Guests, Daily Update.