I have always had a love-hate relationship with public transport.
I love taking the bus for long journeys and just watching people and houses and fields sail by.
I love how the gentle hum of the engine never fails to rock me to sleep.
I like nothing about the Luas (Dublin tram service) because is a disgustingly modern and capitalist creation.
But I do love the bus and trains.
And sorta hate them
When it comes to buses, I hate having to wait and wait without any idea when the bloody thing is going to come.
I hate that when it’s raining, you’ll always have to wait longer.
I hate that other bus drivers get preferential treatment. I get so angry when I see an off-shift driver strut up at the last second and stand ten or more feet away from the stop and the crowd of commuters because guess what!? The bus will stop where their driver buddy is standing and on he’ll hop with a wink and take the nicest seat right down the back. Meanwhile, us eejits who have formed our own fair lines AT THE STOP are lefting charging down to bus and those who were first (and were waiting longest) are stuck at the back of the queue and left standing.
And don’t get me started on the Luas and the cramfest!
Or the fact that their seats are ridiculously few and very uncomfortable!
Or the drivers who shut the doors on you and then sit at the stop for two more minutes, making you incredibly late for work and with angry tears welling up in your eyes. (I’m very emotional in the mornings).
But MOST of all, I hate the people.
Wouldn’t the world just be lovely if there were no people?
(Oh except you lovely Readers….you guys will be spared during my rampage!)
And I hate the people for the following reasons:
- People who skip make-shift queues made at a bus or Luas stop.
- Coin people who queue in the ticket line on the bus because it’s shorter and then hold everyone up when they push their way to the coin slot …and then get ahead of everyone to get the best seat.
- People who sit beside you when there are LOADS of empty two-seater seats.
- People who put their bags on the seat next to them when the bus/Luas is jam packed and then given the person who asks them to move them they dirtiest of looks!
- Really fat people who take up their seat and most of yours…you know what? If you’re not going to buy two tickets, then STAND. (God I’m going to hell).
- People who shove their bags/guitars/suitcases into the foot space in four-seater sections (two seats facing two seats) and don’t give a damn that you’ve no room and that your feet are at creepy angles.
- Old people who get the bus/Luas during PEAK RUSH HOUR to go shopping or to meet Mavis for cakes. Feck off, you’re not getting my seat.
- Guys who leave girls to stand for old people/pregnant women. Now this isn’t a sexist thing, but guys are physically stronger than women naturally so they’re better able to handle standing. My main problem though is when a guy is sitting on the outside seat, he sees an old person come on, he pretends to be asleep and then the girl on the inside seat is forced to get up.
- Standing people who take free seats from other standing people who have been standing longer…sure there aren’t any rules in writing, but what the hell happened to good old fashioned manners and fair play?
- People who use up all the arm room out of selfishness and not for size reasons.
- People reading a newspaper who have it hanging all over your personal space.
- Standing people who try to punish sitting people for getting a seat by leaning against them or jamming their bags into them or constantly pulling their hair as they hold onto the handles.
- People who get on the bus during rush hour when you’re BARELY making it in on time for work and then spend 10mins questioning the bus driver on every bus route in the area …and then get off. USE A BLOODY BUS MAP OR LOOK IT UP ONLINE BEFOREHAND!!!!
- People who smoke upstairs on the bus. You’re not cool, you’re not being sneaky, everyone bloody knows what you’re doing and they all think you’re a sap!