Let me tell you about the time I….sold my first condom

When I was 17,
I drank a very good beer,
I drank a very good beer
That I purchased with a fake ID.
My name was Brian McGee,
I stayed up listening to Queen,
When I was 17…..

Well when I was 17, I did none of the above.
In fact, I was an angel.
A very sheltered angel.
Who didn’t drink.
Or kiss boys.
(or girls, before the jokes start!)
I didn’t stay out late.
Or loiter.
In the words of Bender from the Breakfast Club: “You are a parent’s wet dream, okay?”

During this year of my life, I began working in the infamous Londis shop, where I transformed from a shy quiet type to the girl who was getting up to all sorts in the shop’s store room with her then secret boyfriend (now known as The Boy).
But that change took a few years.
And at the end of my first summer there when I was still sweet and innocent, I came face-to-face with mortification.

I only worked the late shifts for my first year there (2:30pm-10pm) and since we were down the road from a pub, we used to get some interesting people coming in on Friday and Saturday night.
Mainly drunks buying cigarettes.
Or drunks that had been kicked out of the pub and were stocking up on wine for the night.
On this occasion, the guy was sober….

Me: Hi, are you ok?
Guy: Have you got condoms?
Me: *blushes* Eh yeah, they’re behind the till here.
Guy: Ah great. Isn’t that great?
Guy’s Friend: Yeah it is.
Me: *squirms* Which ones do you want?
Guy: Which ones have you got?
Ah for feck sake….like I was going to start naming them out for him…
Me: *grabs one of each type and puts them on the counter* *watches the queue build up behind the two eejits making Man Jokes over the different types*
Guy: I’ll take these.
Me: *throws the spares under the till glad to be rid of them* Grand.
Guy: Five of them.
Me: Sorry?
Guy: Five of them.
Me: You want five of them?
Guy: Yeah.
Me: Five boxes.
Guy: Yeah.
Me: *tries to dig out five boxes from the mess that was the space under the till*
Meanwhile, another Shop Person has been forced to come onto the other till to deal with the massive queue of people grinning at my increasing embarrassment in the Condom Fiasco.
Me: *finally finds enough boxes* That’s X euro, please.
Guy: WHAT!!!???
Me: X euro, please.
Guy: For one box?
Me: You asked me for five.
Guy: Ha ha ha *nudges Friend* I’m good, but I’m not THAT good.
*people in ear shot snigger as I get even redder*




Filed under Let me tell you about the time I....

22 responses to “Let me tell you about the time I….sold my first condom

  1. Eimear

    Ahahaha I laughed for about 10 minutes there! I used to get weirdos like that in the chemist too, you sort of learn to get used to it!

  2. Five boxes? He’s really scared of it breaking isn’t he…

  3. Yeesh. Five boxes?! Sure of himself…

  4. emilycross

    I worked in a Gala. . . same thing happened to me. . . wonder if there is a secret organisation that runs all these shops and decides that when 17 year old girls are made work they must be hazed by gobshits!!!

  5. Eve

    Haha. I’m sorry. I feel like I would probably act the same way.

  6. Oh, I used to hate that. Always found it funny when they hid the box in under loads of other stuff. I have to scan it anyway I’m going to see it! Prefered that than the ones who’d ask for condoms with a creepy wink. Weirdos.

  7. haha 5 boxes! brilliant

  8. Hahahaha you poor thing! Even SAYING the word condom made me cry at that age *not really, but ya know what I mean*. I worked in Londis too at 17, coincidence! Except most of my customers were drug addicts and people who carried knives.

    I worked in one just off Pearse Street. Bane of my teenage life. The things we do to fund our shoe buying.

  9. Hahaha I’m happy these posts are back. I have never tried buying my own condoms but I have bought pregnancy test kits. Man, that was insane.

  10. That’s so funny, and that guy sounds like such a creep – i bet that was the highlight of his year!

  11. That’s so awful embarrassing a kid like that! awww

  12. Haha! That’s too funny! I felt so sorry for you though. He was probably just taking advantage of the fact that you were embarrassed. I’m sure that all changed by the time you were “the girl who was getting up to all sorts in the shop’s store room with her then secret boyfriend” though. =)

    Kate x

  13. You never fail to make me laugh honestly 😀

  14. Eek! I wouldn’t have melted right into the floor!

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  16. Eva

    Customers are pretty much the bain of my existence! I love your blog by the way 🙂

  17. Pingback: Let me tell you about the time I….wasn’t involved in the embarrassing story « A Chick Named Hermia

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